


Third Strike

by grrriliketigers



Category: The Closer
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-17
Updated: 2013-04-17
Packaged: 2017-12-08 17:49:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 34,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/764228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grrriliketigers/pseuds/grrriliketigers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the same week that Brenda has to sign her divorce papers, Sharon's son is arrested which brings up a host of ongoing problems in Sharon's personal and professional life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Officer.” Sharon greeted tersely.

“Captain Raydor.” The young uniform nodded respectfully as he lifted the yellow tape and she ducked under it. 

Flynn and Provenza looked up from the body they were standing over to see Sharon beelining purposefully toward Chief Johnson and the teenaged boy she was talking to. “Hey Captain,” Flynn called out, “this isn’t your beat.”

His protests fell on deaf ears as she marched up to the blonde and the boy. Standing next to the boy she looked the shorter woman in the eye and growled, “this interview stops now. He’s a minor.” 

“Well, Captain,” Brenda narrowed her eyes at Sharon’s audacity. “We’ll just wait and see what his mother has to say.” 

The boy raised his eyebrows at Brenda. 

Sharon narrowed her eyes and then smirked. “I _am_ his mother.” 

Brenda’s mouth opened as though she wanted to object. She looked from Sharon to the boy and back Sharon before stammering dumbly, “he’s black.”

“Wow, mom, and this woman’s higher up the ladder than you?” He snickered. “Who’d she fuck to get her job?” 

_Will Pope…_ Sharon thought with annoyance before scolding. “you watch your language, Reese, she’s an officer of the law, you have to respect her.”

“You don’t.”

“I’m older than you.” Sharon deadpanned and took him by the arm, “I’m taking you home right now.”

“Um, no, you don’t.” Brenda protested. “He’s part of my investigation.”

“I’ll bring him to you first thing in the morning.” Sharon spat. Sharon and Reese walked up to Sanchez. “Detective, I hope you’re not interrogating these boys without the knowledge of their parents.” 

“IDs say they’re 22, Captain.”

“You’re going soft, these boys are juniors in high school. This is Alexander Watts, his address is 126 Ferina street, this is Steven Phelps and his address is 93 Barnwell street. Their parents are Andrea and Leo Watts and Sarah and Dan Phelps.” 

Sanchez blinked at her. “Could you repeat that?”

“I’ll email it to you.” Sharon rolled her eyes. “Alex, Steve, let’s go. I’ll take you home.”

“Yes, Ms. Raydor.” They answered dutifully. She released Reese’s arm and the three boys marched to Sharon’s car looking for all the world like shackled inmates dragging their feet, faces colored by guilty resignation. 

Brenda stood dumbfounded as all three boys got into the car. Sharon fumed as she got in, started the car and pulled away. Flynn stood next to Brenda. 

“She’s got a pair, huh?”

“She just took all my suspects…” 

“Yeah, Chief, but she promised to bring ‘em back.” Flynn scoffed. 

“Ooh! That woman!” Brenda huffed. 

“Careful, Chief, that’s becoming your catchphrase.” Flynn snickered but zipped up when he found himself on the receiving end of Brenda’s death glare.

**

Sharon pulled up in front of Alex’s house and the motion light came on and Andrea Watts stepped out and squinted to see who was there. 

Sharon got out and walked up to explain what had happened.

Reese turned around and looked at his two friends, “alright, asshats, who’s the douchebag who called the Wicked Witch?”

“Dude, she’s a fucking cop. Of course I called your mother. We’re in deep shit, dude got shot and we were there.” Steve snapped, “you’d be a fucking moron not to use a little nepotism on this one.”

“Just shut the fuck up, okay? I would’ve had us outta there, they didn’t even know who we were. And then, like a little bitch, you called my fucking mother.”

“You did not have us out of there.” Steve growled. “They thought we were adults, they were going to haul us off. I’m fucking glad Steve called your mom, I with I’d thought to call your mom.” 

“You guys are pussies. I can’t even fucking believe I hang out with you losers.” Reese grumbled, turning and sinking down in his seat. 

Sharon came back to the car. “Alex, your mother’s waiting for you.” 

“Thanks for the ride, Ms. Raydor.” Alex said as he gripped the door handle. 

“You and one or both of your parents are going to have to go down to the police station tomorrow and make your statement. I’ve told your mother about what happened.”

“Yes, Ms. Raydor.”

Once Steve was dropped off and the only two left in the car were mother and son, Sharon headed back toward her apartment. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed her ex-husband’s number. 

“Sharon, it’s very late.” Vince grumbled, “you’d better have a damn good reason for calling.”

“I have Reese-”

“No, you don’t. He’s down the hall, asleep, it’s three in the morning, Sharon.”

“Don’t talk to my like I’m an idiot. Our son, Reese, is right here in the car with me and I’m well aware of what time it is. I was awoken about an hour ago to hear that our son is a suspect in a murder.” 

“What?” That had gotten Vince’s attention, he was certainly awake now. 

“I’m sure this’ll all get cleared up but I’m going to keep him with me tonight, he has to go in and make a statement tomorrow. Are you saying you didn’t know he wasn’t in the house?”

Vince sighed and rubbed his eyes, “do you want me to come over.” 

“No, I don’t want you to come over. I’m going to bed.” Sharon snapped, then sighed. “I’ll call you tomorrow when I know more. Get some sleep.” 

“Talk to you tomorrow, Sharon.” 

Sharon ended the call and looked over at Reese. “Well?”

“Well what?” He scoffed.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“No.”

“I’m not fooling around. A man is dead and you were there. Start talking.” 

“Steve and Alex and me were just hanging out with Matt Costa.” He shrugged.

“Were you drinking?”

Reese hesitated. 

“Let me rephrase: you were drinking, you reek of it. Who was the man who was shot?” 

Reese shrugged, “never saw him before in my life.”

“Did Matt shoot him?”

“No!” Reese spat, offended. “What? He’s from the wrong side of town so he shot the dude?”

“No, because there was no gun on scene and he’s the only other person you said was there.” 

“Maybe there was another dude.” 

“Was there another person there?”

“Why are you interrogating me like a cop?” Reese demanded, exasperated at his mother’s steadfast internal affairs persona. 

“Because if I was talking to you like your mother right now we’d both be looking at eardrum damage.” Sharon scowled. 

“Screaming’s your answer for everything. No wonder dad left you.”

Sharon gripped the steering wheel, trying to keep her cool. “Tomorrow you’d better be more forthcoming with Chief Johnson.” 

The rest of the car ride was uncomfortably silent. Sharon let them into her apartment, it was on the first floor and it had it’s own entrance. It had two bedrooms, though Reese rarely stayed over, and was quite spacious. Out the back was a shared space with the other apartments that had a well-manicured lawn, lush flowers and a pool. 

Sharon rarely had time to enjoy her apartment and Reese was thoroughly unimpressed. “Go right to bed, we’re going in first thing in the morning.”

“Whatever.” Reese went straight to his room and slammed the door which started the next door neighbor’s dog barking. 

Sharon followed after him and pulled open his door, scolding in a harsh whisper, “it is four in the morning, you have to learn to be more respectful of other people.” 

“Do you mind? I have to sleep, I’m getting up first thing.” He grumbled, flopping down on the bed. 

Sharon gritted her teeth but her mind conjured up images of his three year old self laying on his stomach in his first big boy bed shaped like a rocket ship. It had always been harder with Reese than with her other three children and, it seemed, that wasn’t about to change anytime soon. 

She lingered in the doorway for a moment. His breathing evened out and she remembered he’d been up nearly twenty-four hours and he’d been asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. No matter how angry she was – and she was _furious_ – she couldn’t help the affection that swelled up inside her as she watched her boy sleeping. 

Quietly she closed the door and crossed the hallway to her own bedroom. She climbed into the still rurmpled bed and reset her alarm for 6:30 to give her an extra half-hour of sleep. 

**

Sanchez’s phone beeped and he pulled up the e-mail from Sharon. “Okay, the boys are Steven Phelps, Alexander Watts and Reese Delahunt. Reese is Raydor’s. They’re all seventeen. She says there was another boy there, Matt Costa, but he’s older, 19 or 20.” 

Provenza wrote the names and ages as Sanchez dictated.

“Let’s not take Captain Raydor’s word for it, let’s do some real police work, shall we?” Brenda pursed her lips. She didn’t want to have to deal with Sharon Raydor on a good day and today, when everything else was going to hell in a hand basket, she had to suffer through _that woman_. 

Tao typed away on his computer while Brenda stared at the board, her eyes focused on the picture of Reese Delahunt. The boys’ pictures were school pictures; Reese’s smiling face shined out and Brenda found herself looking for Raydor in the boy’s eyes. She didn’t see Raydor in him now the way she’d seen it when they’d stood side-by-side scowling at her. 

Gabriel hung up the call he’d been on. “The casing that CSU found on scene matches a gun used in a string of shootings in the last couple of months. Unregistered.”

“Of course.” Brenda sighed. 

“Matthew Henry Costa, otherwise known as Mercutio, runs with the East 88s, juvenile priors for shoplifting and possession, nothing violent.”

“Part of the initiation for the 88s is carrying out a hit.” Sanchez said. 

“I’d say Costa looks good for this.” Tao interjected, “the boys are all squeaky clean.” He motioned to the pictures on the white board. 

“Yeah, but are they squeaky clean because they’re good boys or because they have Sharon Raydor on speeddial?” 

“You think _Raydor_ would pull strings?”

“I don’t know.” Brenda snapped, “didn’t I just ask y’all to find out? All I know is we had those boys on scene, dead to rights and she walked off with them and where are they now?”

“Thanks, Buzz.” Provenza said quietly into the phone. “Um, the waiting room, Chief, all three of them with their parents, Raydor among them.”

Brenda huffed. “I want to talk to Raydor’s last. Let her fume.” 

“Hell of a thing, huh, Chief?” Flynn shook his head, “of all weeks to have to deal with Raydor.”

“That’s the last time anyone brings up my divorce. I hear _anyone_ bring it up and they go home for the day. No questions.” She turned to Gabriel, “Sergeant, will you collect Alex Watts and put him in interview room one, and, Detective, please put Steven Phelps in room two.”

“Yes, Chief.” 

She turned to Flynn, “Lieutenant, would you go babysit Reese Delahunt and ask Captain Raydor to come see me in my office?”

Flynn nodded and he, Sanchez and Gabriel walked off dutifully to do Brenda’s bidding. 

Brenda walked into her office and opened her candy drawer. Rooting around in the sea of candy she finally extracted a Reese’s cup. She unwrapped it and shoved it into her mouth whole. Flynn was right, it was a hell of a thing to happen this week of all weeks.


	2. Chapter 2

Brenda was seated at her desk when Sharon came into the room. "Thank you for coming in, Captain. Have a seat." 

Sharon sat wordlessly in one of the chairs opposite Brenda. 

"Never show up to one of my crime scenes and undermine my authority like that again." Brenda started as soon as the Captain's bum made contact with the cushion of the chair. "That was unprofessional and discourteous. I better not find out that you've tampered with this case in any way. If you interfere in any way you can expect an IA complaint, do I make myself perfectly clear?"

"I was off-duty, Chief." Sharon said coolly. 

"You stepped under that tape and you were an agent of the LAPD and as such you submit to your superior officer, am I understood?"

"You were interrogating my son illegally, as an internal affairs officer myself I have a right to correct misuses of police authority." 

"You do not do that by removing my witnesses from my crime scene!" Brenda roared, slamming a hand down on her desk, startling the usually unrufflable Captain. "Removing my only witnesses from a crime scene itself ia a misuse of your police authority. That being said, thank you for bringing all my witnesses back but this will go right to Delk if you so much as step a little bitty pinky toe over the line on this case. Nod if you understand." 

"Chief-" Sharon started. 

"I said nod if you understand." Brenda shouted. This time Sharon was more prepared for the outburst and a slight widening of her eyes was the only indication she had registered any change in volume or tone. 

After a long stubborn moment, Sharon nodded curtly. 

"Good." Brenda stood up and straightened her jacket; she smiled saccharinely. "Now, if you'd like to wait in the break room you can help yourself to coffee and perhaps Reese would like a donut." 

Sharon narrowed her eyes at Brenda. 

"That was your cue to leave, Captain." Brenda smirked. 

Sharon stood up, her body was shaking, almost imperceptibly, with anger and as she strode through squad room and saw the averted glances she realized resentfully that Brenda had intentionally left the door open. 

Sharon took a seat next to her son, each turning their heads away and Andy felt the tension in the room rise to noxious levels and he excused himself. 

Brenda took a moment to collect herself before she clipped across the floor toward the observation room where everyone was waiting for her. “Who looks the antsiest?” Brenda asked leaning in to look at the monitors. Maybe she needed a stronger perscription. 

“I’d say go with Steve first.” Tao said, “phone records say he called Raydor. He’ll talk.” 

“No, no, you wanna crack the toughest nut first,” Flynn objected, “honestly, you should start with Raydor’s. He’s a little asshole, she must be very proud.” 

“What are you talking about?” Provenza scowled. “You don’t open with the toughest nut, you let him stew.”

“The longer we make Raydor wait the more belligerent she’s gonna be and then we’ll get nothing anyway because she’ll just piss off the Chief!” Flynn snapped. 

Brenda picked up the case file, “Detective Sanchez, come with me, please.” 

“Yes, Chief.” Sanchez followed her dutifully to interview room one where Alex Watts and his mother Andrea were waiting. 

“Hello there, Alex.” Brenda adjusted her glasses as she sat down and beamed a smile at him. “Why don’t you start at the top and tell me what exactly happened last night?”

Brenda uncapped her pen and looked at Alex expectantly. He looked at his mother for a moment and she nodded to him encouragingly. 

“We were just hanging out at the Store24.” Alex shrugged.

“Who’s we?”

“Me and Steve and Reese and Matt.” 

“Who brought the gun, Alex?” Brenda looked up at him.

“Nobody!”

“Nobody brought a gun? What was the victim shot with then? Hm? Magic? Did Santa Claus shoot him?” Brenda pursed her lips.

AndreaWatts put her arms around her son’s shoulders. “Is this necessary?”

“Ma’am, I have a boy only a few years older than your son downstairs in the morgue and I don’t even know who he is. I don’t know who to call to tell her that her son isn’t coming home.” She turned her gaze back to Alex. “Who brought the gun?”

“I don’t know! Okay? I don’t know, we weren’t even there when the guy was shot! We were in front of the store and he was shot in the back, when we heard the shot we ran to the back and Matt was gone and then the guy from the store came out with a gun and told us not to move and then you showed up. That’s all I know!”

“Matt was gone? Where was Matt when the shots rang out?” 

Alex shook his head, “I don’t know, he said he was going to take a leek.” 

“Did Matt bring the gun?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Does Matt own a gun?”

“I don’t know.”

“Have you ever seen Matt with a gun?” 

“I don’t know!” Alex snapped, frustrated and scared. “We’re not that tight, I hadn’t seen him in months!” 

“What about Reese Delahunt?” Brenda raised her eyes slowly. 

Alex shifted uncomfortably, “what about him?”

“Does he ever borrow his mother’s gun?”

“He doesn’t even live with his mother.” Alex frowned. “He tried to find it once but she keeps it locked up when she’s off-duty and he couldn’t get the drawer open.”

“How much did Matt have to drink?”

“I don’t know. A couple beers. I don’t sit around and count how much people are drinking in case someone asks.” 

“Did you have a designated driver?”

Alex sat back, his mother already knew they’d been drinking but talking about it in front of her was still offputting. He glanced up at a stone-faced Sanchez and back to Brenda. “No. We figured we’d just finish off the beer and then hang out till one of us was sober enough. Well, except Steve, he doesn’t have a license yet.” 

“Who bought the beer?” Brenda asked, “we confiscated all your fake ids but who actually went in and bought the beer?”

“Matt did.” 

“Did anyone else go _into_ the store?” 

“Reese went in to buy a snack.” 

“How much beer did Matt buy? What brand?”

Alex furrowed his brow in thought. “It was a case, I don’t know how much comes in a case… it was… I don’t know, it was in a blue can, it wasn’t the stuff my dad gets… it wasn’t Coors.” 

“Did y’all pitch in for the beer or did Matt buy it?”

“Matt bought it, he never asked us for money.” 

“Did Matt pick the place?”

Alex shrugged, “he drove.” 

“After the shot and after you ran out back, did you ever get a good look at the man’s face?” 

“The… the dead guy?” Alex bit his lip and shrugged uncomfortably, “I tried not to look…” 

Brenda pulled a picture from the folder she had in front of her and laid it down in front of Alex. He and his mother recoiled from the sight. “This is a picture of the victim at the crime scene. He was shot in the stomach, that’s a very painful, very fatal place to get shot. The worst part? With a wound like that it takes a very long time to die.” 

“Please,” Andrea held her son to her, “he doesn’t need to see that.” 

Brenda pulled out another picture, this one had been taken in the morgue. The victim’s eyes were closed and his lips were a cold, lifeless blue. Brenda slid the picture to Alex. “Take a good look. Have you ever seen this man before?”

Alex shook his head, “no.”

“Did he go into the store while you were there?”

“No, I don’t know.”

“Which is it? No? Or you don’t know?”

“I don’t know!” Alex’s eyes filled up with tears. “I didn’t shoot him. I didn’t know him. I didn’t want him to die. I was just hanging out with my friends.” 

“Did Matt choose this location so that he could shoot this man?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t even know Matt was coming, I just got a text from Reese that said to meet at the end of the road.” Alex dug his phone out, offering it up to Brenda, “you can check, I’ve never gotten a text or a call from Matt. I didn’t know him that well.” 

“You didn’t know him that well and he put up the money for all y’all to have beer? That’s pretty generous of him.” Brenda waved away the phone and smiled again, “we have access to your phone records, we don’t need your phone, thank you though.” 

Alex wiped his eyes embarrassedly. 

“You said Reese invited you out. Does he hang out with Matt a lot?”

Alex shrugged. “Matt used to go to school with us, he’s older though, I think they played lacrosse together. He dropped out last year.” 

“Who called Captain Raydor?”

“Uh, Steve did.” 

“Not her own son?”

Alex shrugged and frowned, “they’re not close.” 

“How did Steve get the number?”

This time Andrea spoke, “the boys have been best friends since they were little kids, the boys all have all our numbers in case they ever need anything.” 

“And did Captain Raydor ever tell you that if you ever got into trouble she’d make it go away?” 

Alex shook his head. “No.” 

“She never even implied it?” Brenda pressed, “just a little bit?”

“She never said anything about trouble!” Alex insisted, “except, sometimes, when we would all leave the house she’d say ‘stay out of trouble’ but that’s just a line.”

“We’ve known Vince and Sharon since we moved to the neighborhood. She would never do anything illegal. Obviously you’ve met her but do you _know_ her? She’s a good person.”

“And how well do you know Captain Raydor, Mrs. Watts?” 

“Um, I don’t see her much anymore, she doesn’t live in the neighborhood since her divorce, but Sharon and Sara and I used to get together once a week for drinks. Is this relevant to the case? Does Sharon have something to do with this?”

“This is all still preliminary, Mrs. Watts.” Brenda scribbled something on her legal pad. “Did Captain Raydor ever suggest to you, her friend, that she could get your kid out of trouble?” 

“She never talks about work.”

“What does she talk about then?” Brenda asked with surprise. Sanchez looked over at Brenda and she realized her question was transparently self-interested. “Nevermind.”

Brenda looked at her watch, “what’s your third period class, Alex?”

“Chemistry.” 

“I think you’ll just make it.” Brenda gathered up the photos and put them back in the folder. “Detective Sanchez would be happy to write you a note.” 

“He’s all set?” Andrea asked, jumping up to follow Brenda as she went for the door. 

“Well, he shouldn’t leave the jurisdiction until this case is wrapped up but he should be free to go.” 

Steve’s interview transpired with a lot more tears but with much the same information. He didn’t know Matt Costa very well, Reese invited him and they didn’t really witness anything. 

Brenda stepped out of the interview room and looked down at her watch. She’d kept Sharon and Reese waiting in the breakroom for close to two and a half hours. Probably enough time to sufficiently drive the woman up the wall. With any luck she’d’ve consumed enough coffee to send her to the bathroom part way through the interview. 

“Lieutenant Provenza, would you please go fetch the Captain and her spawn and stick them in interview room two?” 

Provenza nodded dutifully, honor preventing him from telling Brenda that he’d really rather do anything than deal with an enraged Raydor. Brenda sighed a heavy frustrated sigh and joined the gang in the observation room. 

Provenza led Sharon and Reese into the room and left. Sharon remained standing with defensive posture, her arms folded over her chest and a scowl etched into her features. Reese pulled out the chair and sat down, slumping leisurely in the hard metal chair. 

Sharon fixed her eyes on the room’s camera. Brenda stared into Sharon’s eyes, a chill ran down her spine. However irrational it was, Brenda felt as though she were doing it on purpose, that she knew that she was gazing into Brenda. 

“Alright.” Brenda gathered up an armload of file folders and proceeded into interview room two. 

Sharon checked her watch as Brenda entered the room. “Have a seat, Captain.”

“I’ll stand, thank you.”

Brenda put on her glasses, “suit yourself. Those heels just don’t look very comfortable. In fact they look like weapons themselves, can you wear those on an airplane or would you have to check ‘em?” 

Sharon took a deep breath. “I am not some scared civillian that you can intimidate with your tricks or win over with your cutting personal questions. I have watched you on the other side too many times to be fooled by this shit so can we just do this?” 

“Oh snap! You tell her, mom.” Reese laughed. 

“Reese, be quiet.” Sharon snapped. 

Brenda pulled out the photograph of the exsanguinating young man from the crime scene and laid it in front of Reese. “Who is he?”

Reese shrugged. Unlike Alex and his mother, neither mother nor son recoiled from the picture. Sharon even stepped closer to scrutinize the photograph. She pulled a small notepad from her pocket and began to write. 

“Captain, what are you writin’?” Brenda asked with annoyance, her concentration broken by her distaste for the woman and everything about her smug, superior attitude. 

“I’m just taking a few notes, Chief. I’m not the one you’re interviewing, I’m well within my rights to take notes.” 

“Be that as it may, Captain, it’s distracting and I would like you to stop.” Brenda’s calm façade was cracking and she was about to lose it altogether but, much to her surprise, Sharon tucked the notebook back into her pocket. “Thank you, Captain.” 

Brenda tapped the photograph, “who is this man, Reese?” 

“Never saw him before.” Reese shrugged. 

“I have a copy of your transcript here, Reese,” Brenda went on, hoping to utilize a different approach. “You get very good grades. A lot of children of divorce start slipping academically and fall in with the bad crowd. At least you kept up your grades.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Matt Costa.” Brenda laid out his record. “What’s a good kid like you doin’ hangin’ out with a punk like Matt Costa?” 

Reese pursed his lips and Brenda was momentarily overcome by how much of Sharon Raydor she saw in that simple muscle movement. “Can’t I just give my statement and go?” 

Gabriel knocked on the door and stuck his head in, “Uh, Chief, sorry to interrupt, but…”

“Of course, Sergeant.” Brenda stood and left the room. 

As the door closed behind her Gabriel handed her a folder. “Surveillance camera behind the store is a bust, it was focused on the dumpster and there’s no sound, we just see the victim fall into view, none of the actual struggle. But Morales found skin under the vic’s fingernails. Nothing in CODIS but when we get a viable suspect we can run it.”

Brenda nodded. That, at least, was good news. “Any luck IDing the vic?”

Gabriel shook his head somberly. “No. But maybe Matt Costa can settle that for us. Sanchez says he got a line on his whereabouts.” 

“Good. Why don’t you help him run that down? I want to get this wrapped up as quickly as possible.” Brenda readied herself and entered the room again. “So sorry about that.” 

Sharon had taken a seat next to Reese while Brenda had been away. 

Brenda sat down and started making a show of going through her folders. “Alright, Reese. Why don’t you tell me what happened?” 

“Matt called me and told me to get the crew together so I texted Alex and Steve and we went to Store24 and Matt bought us some beer then Matt went to take a piss and there was a shot and obviously Matt ran off because he knew you’d suspect him.” 

“How well do you know Matt?” 

“He’s my boy.” Reese shrugged, “we’re tight.” 

“Is he part of a gang?”

“In his neighborhood you gotta be part of a gang to stay alive.” 

“So, that’s a yes? He is in a gang?”

“I guess.” 

“You guess…” Brenda nodded, writing something on her yellow legal pad. “In his neighborhood you have to be in a gang or you’re a target. Is that correct?”

“What do you have Georgia peaches in your ears, lady? That’s what I just said.” Reese glowered. 

Brenda had a suspicion, after that last comment, that Sharon had spoken of her before. Either that or Reese was going to be a remarkable linguist. 

“And how would you know what it’s like to live in a neighborhood like that? You yourself live in a quiet suburb in a two-storey house. The most terrorizing thing in your neighborhood is a cute little paper boy with bad aim who might hit a window.” 

“I know plenty.” Reese said defensively. 

“Is Matt a member of the East 88s?”

Reese shrugged, “maybe.” 

“Did you know that to get into the East 88s you have to carry out a hit?”

Reese shrugged again, “never came up in conversation.” 

“Does Matt own a gun?” 

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” Reese demanded, slamming a hand down on the table. Brenda hated herself for flinching. 

Brenda stood quickly, her chair clattering behind her and slamming her hands on the surface of the table, “because I’m asking _you_ , Mr. Delahunt. To the best of your knowledge does Matt Costa own a gun?” 

Sharon stood then, “that is enough, Chief. You are blatantly badgering my son and I won’t let this interview go on any longer.” 

“What did I say about stepping over the line?” Brenda growled. 

Sharon moved closer to Brenda, her hair swooshing around her cheeks as she bared her teeth. “You’re the one who’s over the line! We are here as a courtesy, he is a witness, not a suspect.” 

“Maybe he is a suspect.”

“Oh, give me a break, Chief.” Sharon rolled her eyes. 

“Don’t you roll your eyes at me, Captain.” Brenda snarled. “You don’t come into my interrogation room and tell me how to do my job. Just like I don’t march up to your office and tell you how to write up your beauracratic-pain-in-the-ass paperwork!”

“That’d be a lot more insulting if I believed you’ve ever seen a piece of paperwork, let alone completed any properly.” 

Brenda straightened and looked at the camera, “Lieutenant Flynn, please come get Captain Raydor out of my interrogation room.”

Sharon scoffed, “you can’t be serious.” 

The door opened and Flynn looked at Sharon with resignation. “Would you come with me, please, Captain?” 

Sharon straightened her jacket and turned her nose up at Brenda. “You cannot interrogate my son without my consent and I do not give you my consent.” She walked up to Flynn and turned to Reese, “I will be right back.” 

“Don’t count on it, Captain.” Brenda huffed and sat down across the table from Reese. 

Flynn shut the door behind them once he and Sharon were in the hallway. Flynn looked at Sharon helplessly, stunned by his superior officer’s behavior. He felt, for the first time, that he was actually on Sharon’s side and that Brenda had been out of line, but it wasn’t his place to say. 

Sharon didn’t look to him for an explanation anyway, she just headed purposefully for the elevator bank. Flynn returned to the observation room and rejoined the rest of his stunned colleagues. 

“Well, Mr. Delahunt, I can’t question you but there’s nothing to stop you from talking to me.” Brenda grinned amicably, shuffling her papers and recomposing herself after her screaming match with Sharon. 

“I can talk to you?”

“That’s right.”

“When did your husband leave you?” 

Brenda’s face fell, “excuse me?”

Reese reached across the table and pointed to Brenda’s ring finger. Brenda’s finger twitched traitorously, she wanted to pull back and away but didn’t want to reveal vulnerability. She hadn’t felt self-conscious about the tan line that the recently shed ring until just that moment as Sharon Raydor’s rotten son pointed petulently across the table. 

Biting the inside of her lip, she resolved not to pull away.


	3. Chapter 3

From the observation room the Major Crimes squad stood tense. The kid had to bring up the divorce. Flynn had already noted that he seemed adept at finding a person’s weak spot and twisting the knife. 

A skill he must have picked up from Raydor. 

Brenda still hadn’t spoken. She realized embarrassedly that, though she hadn’t flinched or moved away, she had revealed her weakness through her silence. 

Brenda blinked and her finger twitched. Reese leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. Some snot-nosed punk had just gotten the better of her in her own interrogation room. She had not been ready for Raydor or any of this shit and it had thrown her off her game. She was furious with herself for having allowed Sharon’s needling little scribbling to rile her so much. 

“Alright, I’ll keep talking since you’ve obviously forgotten the mechanics of speaking.” Reese smirked. “It was your attitude that was a dead giveaway. Defensive, aggitated, confrontational. You should ask my mom if it ever stops hurting. You’ve probably got a lot in common: you’re both bossy control freaks who drive everyone away.” 

Brenda leaned across the table toward Reese. “You’re going to have to do a lot better than that if you’re trying to manipulate me.” She said sweetly with a toothy smile, though the words dripped venomously. “I’ve got a lotta years on you, kid, and I wrote the book on manipulation.” 

There was a collective sigh of relief in the observation room. Though no one had really expected Brenda to fall apart, it was a relief when she regained her usual commanding demeanor. But that was the funny thing about falling apart – it happened to the weakest and strongest among us and, almost always, it happened with very little warning. 

Reese and Brenda sat in silence. 

“I got time. All I got is time. Didn’t want to go to school anyway. You think you’re waiting me out but I gotta tell you, I bet you got somewhere to go before I do.” 

“Care to put a wager on that? What do seventeen year old’s make these days? About $10 a week in allowance?” 

Reese scoffed and then laughed, “how shitty about yourself do you have to feel to make fun of a high schooler?” 

After a few tense moments, during which Brenda did not have adequate time to digest Reese’s question and assess just how shitty she felt about herself – and it was pretty shitty – the door reopened and Sharon Raydor stepped in. 

Brenda turned and scowled at the older woman. “Captain, did I not make myself clear? Do you want to get slapped with an insubordination charge? If you step one more inch into this room I will go right up to…” 

Will Pope stepped into the room beside Sharon. 

“Will…” Brenda said in disbelief. Her gaze shifted to Sharon and her nostrils flared in anger. 

“Chief Johnson, can I speak with you outside for a moment?” Pope held the door open wider and Sharon sauntered in and took her seat next to Reese. 

Out in the hallway Will held up a hand before Brenda had the chance to open her mouth. “No, Brenda. You don’t throw a mother out of her under age son’s interrogation. Period. I don’t care that it’s Captain Raydor and the two of you lose 95% of your good judgment around each other. I am watching you _both_ very closely. You got it?”

Brenda snorted but nodded. As if that was supposed to scare her. Delk was gunning for Will Pope’s retirement and for Brenda to ascend the ranks – not that she wanted it; he knew it, she knew it. In the meantime, she supposed, a write up from her direct supervisor might still pose a threat to her continuing to do her job with the freedom she’d been so far allowed. 

She grumbled a curt, “yes.” and impatiently went back into the interview room. Standing by her chair she looked at Reese and scowled a little. 

“I think we’re done here.” She announced. She looked at Sharon and continued, “I know how to find you if I need anything else.” 

Sharon stood and put a hand on Reese’s back. “Come on, I’ll drive you to school.” 

Once Sharon and Reese were gone Brenda let out an embarrassedly relieved sigh. It was as if they’d both been giant energy suckers that had drained Brenda until she was running on fumes. Without their presence Brenda was able to breathe again. 

She wouldn’t be fully recharged until she ate a truly disgusting amount of candy and crawled into the bottle of 2001 Merlot that she’d been saving for either a very good occasion or a very bad day. She was about to escape to her office to get a head start on the sugar coma when Morales called her to tell her that he had a possible identity for their victim. 

Chocolate momentarily forgotten as she focused on less selfish pursuits, she went down to the morgue. 

“Since the vic is definitely under twenty-five it’s protocol to enter his statistics to cross reference with LA’s pediatric records.” He led Brenda over to the computer, “we have a possible match. He’d had a compound wrist fracture and a broken collarbone as well as an untreated hairline fracture in his left supraorbital process.” 

Brenda looked over at him to get him to dumb that last one down for her. 

“His left brow bone.” 

Brenda nodded and thought about this for a moment. “And it’s only a possible match?” 

“Actually, quite a few boys came up with the wrist and collarbone injury combination. There was only one entry that seemed to match your vic but there’s still the possibility he’s not from around here. No red flags from missing persons?”

“A lot of boys have these injuries? Car accident? Childhood abuse?” 

Morales shook his head, “if it had been a car accident they’d’ve probably x-rayed the head and found the hairline in the brow bone and I found no evidence of abuse. According to the record the wrist and the collarbone were treated on the same day. I’d say a sports injury. A contact sport.” 

Brenda looked back to the screen, “alright, I’m ready for our possible match’s name.” 

“Zachary Bishop.” 

**

“Mrs. Patricia Bishop?” Brenda asked, the Los Angeles sun glinting off her black sunglasses. When the woman nodded Brenda held up her badge. “Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson, may we come in?”

She looked at Brenda and Provenza and nodded nervously. “What’s this about?”

“I just wanted to ask you a few questions about your son Zachary.” 

“Zack? Is he alright?” Mrs. Bishop looked stricken. 

“When’s the last time you saw your son?” Brenda asked, pushing on and ignoring the question. There’d be no point in telling her they thought her son was dead if she’d kissed him goodbye after he ate his cornflakes at breakfast this morning. 

“I saw him a couple of weeks ago.” She said, biting her lip, “he’s studying art at UCLA. He lives on campus, comes home to do his laundry.” 

“When he was younger did he break his wrist and his collarbone?”

Mrs. Bishop nodded, “it was a lacrosse injury, he played in high school.” 

“Did he sustain any facial injuries then too?”

Mrs. Bishop’s expression got more and more anxious with each of Brenda’s questions. She nodded slowly and touched her left brow. “His eye was swollen shut for a week. Something’s wrong, isn’t it?” 

Brenda looked away for a moment, steeling her resolve. She looked back up into Patricia Bishop’s eyes and said gently, “would you mind coming back to the station with us to make an identification?”

“Oh my god!” Tears sprang to Patricia Bishop’s eyes, Brenda watched the woman crumble in front of her eyes. This woman had every right to cry, her son had been the victim of a violent crime. Seeing this woman cry made Brenda even more angry at Sharon Raydor’s indignance and outrage. Sharon’s little monster was covering for a murderer – a friend, yes, but a murderer nonetheless – and Sharon was accusing _Brenda_ of impropriety. 

Patricia Bishop had the right to pitch a fit today, Sharon Raydor did not.


	4. Chapter 4

“Zachary Bishop.” Provenza announced as he tacked the school picture of the victim up next to the autopsy photo. 

“Graduated from Winward High School in 2007. He was an upperclassman while Matthew Costa was an underclasssman.” Tao said. 

“Well, now we know the connection between Costa and Bishop.” Brenda nodded. “And Lacrosse pulls in Costa, Bishop and Delahunt.” 

“But Delahunt, Watts and Phelps didn’t start high school until 2009. They wouldn’t have met Zachary Bishop.” Tao protested. 

“You heard him in his interview. He and Costa are ‘tight.’ Costa’s grudges become Delahunt’s grudges.” Brenda’s words were met with skepticism from the squad. “Lieutenant, what progress are Sanchez and Gabriel makin’ on findin’ Matthew Costa?” 

“I don’t know, I haven’t heard from ‘em in a bit.” Flynn said cautiously, “you want me to call them?”

“No.” Brenda huffed annoyedly. “I don’t want you to interrupt the only members of this squad who are actually doin’ their jobs today.” 

The squad looked appropriately chastised, despite disagreeing with Brenda’s assertion that they weren’t doing anything important. They mumbled their apologies and Brenda stalked off to dig into her candy stash. 

Tao and Provenza looked over at Flynn and he shook his head adamantly. “I know what you’re thinking and _no_. I would like to live through the day so you guys can just forget it, I’m not going in and talking to her.” 

“She listens to you!” Provenza protested. 

**

“Reese, I’d like to ask you a question and I want you to be honest with me.” Sharon said as they sat in midday LA traffic on the way to his school. 

“Sure.” He grumbled, still staring out the window forlornly. 

“And I am talking to you as your mother and not a police officer. This is just us having a conversation.” 

“This is _you_ have a conversation and me wondering when you’re just going to ask your damn question.” 

Sharon bit back an eye roll. She was too old for teenage shit; she felt it in her bones every time he opened his mouth. 

“Did you know that Matt was going to shoot that boy?” 

Reese turned in his seat to look at his mother. “Look… I don’t even know that he shot the guy. You don’t have to go making accusations about my friends. I know Matt was never your favorite-”

“Never my favorite? I only met him once because you never come over and stay with me. I don’t put up a fuss about it because I know you’re still mad at me. I know we don’t talk about it but you and Amelia both, you’re still mad at me so I try not to push either of you too hard… but I want to be involved in your life, Reese. I’m interested in what you’re doing, you’re my son, you’re my youngest and I want… I want to have a good relationship with you because I love you.” Sharon let out a breath, having just released everything she’d wanted to say for a while. “Let me rephrase my question: did you know that that boy was going to be at the Store24 before you went? Did you know if there were plans for someone to shoot him?” 

Still mad at his mother or not, he felt he owed her at least one honest answer. Even if he couldn’t forgive her yet – or maybe even ever – he owed her an honest answer. He shook his head, “no.” 

“It came as a complete surprise to you.” Sharon asked, wanting clarification of his answer. 

“If I’d known that some dude was going to get shot last night I wouldn’t have gone.” Reese scoffed. “I have a huge test on Friday and I so don’t need that shit in my life right now.” 

“You and me both, kiddo.” Sharon nodded sympathetically. 

“So, that other lady cop, the blonde,” Reese started, “is she always that together?” 

“You kid but I think we caught her on a good day.” Sharon offered a wry smile and Reese laughed a little before turning to look out the window. Again, Sharon was washed in a wave of affection for her son and resisted the urge to reach over and run her fingers through his hair the way she had when he was a baby. 

**

Matthew Costa was seated in interview room one. Brenda watched him on the camera. He wasn’t very old; he was only twenty-two. Brenda hardly remembered feeling like an adult at thirty, at twenty-two she’d still been a kid. She knew that all of these thoughts about age were brought up by her impending divorce. 

Maybe the idea of Sharon being a mother of four that made her realize she’d passed her mothering window. Not that she wanted kids but the idea that it wasn’t even an option now bothered her. She hadn’t started menopause, she could technically still have children but she didn’t want to be almost seventy by the time the little monster graduated college. 

Reese had so much obvious disdain for law enforcement – and particularly his mother – in an abstract sense Brenda wondered what it must feel like to have your own child be so embittered towards you. Clay and Willie Rae may occassionally drive her up the wall and their twice-yearly visits made her crazy but she loved them with all her heart. Even as a teenager she’d never gone through the parents hating stage. Was Reese just at that age or was Sharon just as likeable as Brenda thought she was? She had a passing thought that Reese wasn’t particularly lovable either and, if Sharon did, more power to her.

Matthew Costa was just a boy. A boy who had killed another boy. Zachary Bishop was a good student, he was graduating college next year. She tried never to put a value on certain people over others but there was something that made her particularly angry this case. Matthew Costa had dropped out of high school and he’d snuffed out the life of an ex-compatriot, someone with whom he’d shared a team, someone who was going to go and do good things with his life. 

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been staring at the monitors and her squad had moved beyond the point of making awkward comments about her state of mind concerning the divorce. This was her element, she was going to go in there and Matthew Costa was going to tell her why he thought he had the right to shoot Zachary Bishop. He was going to tell her why he had wanted to kill Zachary Bishop and – with any luck – he was going to tell her that Reese Delahunt had known that he was going to.


	5. Chapter 5

Brenda walked into the room and set a heavy file box down on the table in front of Costa. “Hi there, Matthew. Or do you prefer Mercutio?”

“Lawyer.” He said quickly.

“Yes, I know.” Brenda smiled sweetly. “I’m just keeping you company until your lawyer arrives. I want to familiarize myself with the particulars of the case so that when your public defender arrives I will be able to tell him about all of these murders you’re responsible for.” She indicated the box. 

He furrowed his brow. “What do you mean all?”

“I can’t have a conversation with you.” Brenda shook her head. “We can’t have a dialog because that implies an interrogation which I am absolutely not allowed to do since you asked for your lawyer. I’m just talkin’. The thing that’s kind of sad to me about public defenders is that they’re so overworked and for so little money, some of them just aren’t that motivated. Most of ‘em just want in and out and the client doesn’t even matter any more. You just become a case number…” 

Matt frowned. 

“I mean that in the general you, of course, not you. Not like _you_ , Matthew Costa, are going to become a number, just another nameless, faceless boy that’s going to get convicted because your public attorney can’t be bothered to do a good job.” 

Matt shifted in his seat. “Theoretically… what if I just talked to you and told you my story?”

“I can’t answer that question,” she said apologetically with a mollifying smile. She laid out the picture of Zachary Bishop from the crime scene. Then she laid out pictures from some of the other crime scenes that were attached to the same gun. 

Matt was mesmerized by the pictures, his features draining pale. “Yeah, but _if_?”

“I can’t answer that question unless you waive your rights.” 

“Fine. I do that then. I waive my rights.” He sat forward. He pointed to one of the crime scene photos, “I didn’t do this.” 

“That’s a little hard to believe.” Brenda shrugged. “Your hands tested positive for GSR and we found dna under Zachary Bishop’s fingernails that’s going to come back to you. These other boys,” she indicated the boys that weren’t Zachary. “They were all killed with the same gun.” 

“But it wasn’t my gun.” Matt insisted. 

“And all the boys in this box,” she indicated the box that loomed like a black cloud between them. “This box is full of boys that were shot with the same gun. The physical evidence that I have is enough to put a needle in your arm.” 

“It wasn’t my gun!” Matt protested. 

“Tell me whose then. Tell me who the gun belongs to and we only try you for this one.” She picked up the picture of Zachary Bishop and held it up in Matt’s face so he had no where else to look. “One count of first degree murder, maybe you’ll get out in sixty years. Maybe you’ll get out in time to die in a state-owned nursing home. Whatever life you end up leading it will be better than Zachary Bishop’s because you took it from him. You took his _life_.” 

“He was a douche. Said I’d never amount to anything.”

“The truth hurts, Matt.” 

Matt scowled, “all those rich douches at Winward.” 

“Reese Delahunt is one of those.” 

“Nah, he’s got money but he’s cool.” Matt shook his head, “he’s got my back.” 

“When you went to Store24 did you know that Zachary Bishop was going to be there?” 

“I had it on reliable authority.” 

“Whose?” Brenda demanded. “Who told you Zachary Bishop was going to be there last night?”

The door swung open. “Chief Johnson, this interview is over. My client asked for his lawyer.” Andrew Douglas, a portly man, from the public defender’s office waddled into the room and stood next to Matt’s chair. 

“He waived his rights.” 

“Yeah, well, he’s unwaiving them.” Andrew frowned. “Chief Johnson, you should know better by now.”

“All I know, Mr. Douglas,” Brenda said scooping up the box of files, “is we have your client dead to rights and his only hope to live to see twenty-three is talkin’ to _me_ not to you.” 

Brenda made it to the door and stopped. She turned to look at Andrew Douglas, “don’t forget to tell your client what my close rate is and how many of my investigations lead to convictions at trial. I’m willing to give your client the courtesy that he did not give Zachary Bishop, I’m willing to let him bargain for his life. Information gets the death penalty off the table.”

“You don’t have the authority to make deals.” Andrew scoffed. 

“The DA takes my recommendations very seriously.” Brenda leant the box against her hip and opened the door and excused herself. 

“Chief, I think you’re going to want to see the security footage from inside the store.” Gabriel approached to collect their Chief. 

She handed the box of files off and marched into the viewing room. Buzz started the tape that was taken from behind the store. “Here we see the shadows of two figures struggling, there’s a sudden burst of light from muzzle flash and then Zachary Bishop falls into frame.”

“I’ve seen this, Buzz.” Brenda all but snarled. 

“Let me draw your attention to the time stamp.” Buzz pointed to the bottom of the screen where the white typeface counted the seconds, minutes and hours that passed. He backed up the tape to the beginning of the struggle then pulled up the interior of the store and started the two simultaneously. 

On the silent black and white footage Reese Delahunt walked on screen and started poking around a chip display and glancing at the store clerk alternatingly. Finally he picked up a bag of Cheetos and both Reese and the clerk’s heads jerked up. Reese dropped the bag and bolted for the front door and the clerk ran out the back. The three boys and the clerk appeared on the exterior footage and Buzz stopped the tape. 

“Looks like Delahunt was the distraction to me, Chief.” Flynn nodded, his arms folded across his chest aloofly. 

Brenda stood up and removed her glasses, a small, self-satisfied smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

**

“ _Chief Johnson_.” Sharon called in through the open office door. Her posture was defensive and her nostrils flared in anger. She was calling her out, luring her from the comfort of her office to lay into her in the most public space she could lure her into. 

Brenda appeared in the doorway. “Captain, I see you’re your usual perky self. What can I do for you?”

“What can you do for me? Not a damn thing apparently.” Sharon took a step forward and held out her hand, “may I see your cell phone?”

Brenda narrowed her eyes with suspicion for a moment before she dug it out of her Mary Poppins sized handbag and offered it up to the seething woman with cool composure that demonstrated her poise as alpha bitch. 

Sharon scrolled through her contacts and held up the entry that said Captain Raydor – complete with a picture of the witch stick figure, courtesy of Provenza and Flynn – “you know how to use your contacts, don’t you? Or are you so technologically incompetent that the process of scrolling through an alphabetized list of names reduces you to a quivering mess of stupidity?”

“Captain, you watch your tone of voice.” Brenda growled, snatching the phone away from the maddening woman. Their fingers brushed and sparks of electricity ignited between them. 

The Major Crimes boys made no effort to pretend that they weren’t watching the exchange with interest and dread. Both women were angry and armed and that was never a good combination. 

Sharon’s expression faltered as her despondency shone through her indignation, her shoulders falling from their staunch pose to resignation and she suddenly looked very weary. 

“You pick up a cop’s kid, you give a courtesy call.” Sharon snapped. “Shouldn’t matter who it is or if you have personal ill-feelings toward them, you give them a courtesy call.” 

“I don’t have personal ill-feelings toward you.” Brenda pursed her lips. 

Sharon scoffed and they stood staring at each other for a moment. 

“How’d you find out?” Brenda finally asked. 

“If you arrest any of my kids in future just _call me_ … just as I’d call you if I arrested your cat.” The comment was snide and biting but she couldn’t bring herself to feel bad even as Brenda’s mouth dropped open and the two women regarded each other rawly, each unguarded. 

Sharon turned and clipped out of the murder room. Brenda gathered herself up while the boys had the good sense to act busy. 

“Who called her?” Brenda snapped, looking at Gabriel. 

Gabriel looked surprised and defensive. “I didn’t, Chief!”

“ _I_ called her.” Provenza said wearily. “She may be despicable but… it’s her kid and she’s a cop. We can’t not call her just because we don’t like her. The badge means something to me and I thought it meant something to you.” 

“Lieutenant!” 

“I’m not walking on egg shells just because you’re getting a divorce. Flynn and I have been through ten of those all together. They suck but they’re not the end of the world and you don’t even have to pay alimony.” He stood up from his seat. “And I mentioned your divorce so I guess I’m out of here for the day.” 

“Lieutenant, wait…” Brenda sighed, “you’re right. It was a mistake not to call her. Thanks for…”

“The kick in the ass?”

“I was goin’ to say thanks for stepping up and doin’ it for me but yeah, I guess for the kick in the ass too.” Brenda mustered a small smile. 

**

“Jeff?” Sharon knocked lightly on the wooden doorframe. 

He looked up and smiled, “Sharon.” He stood and motioned for her to come in. She purposefully left the door open to avoid any accusations of impropriety. Her mere presence had already set the secretary grapevine atwitter with excitement, though she pretended not to notice the way one of the veteran secretaries turned to whisper to the young paralegal. The annals of a few bad decisions branding her forever the scarlet woman. 

“It’s been a long time.” Jeff said, leaning against his desk and watching Sharon. Once upon a time they’d been close friends and now she couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen him. “Too long.” He added after a pause. 

“You can close the door, we’re all adults here.” He said, though fully understood her reluctance.

“I’ll leave it open. You don’t need anyone making any accusations.” There was no bitterness in her voice, just concern for a friend she cared deeply about. “Especially because I came to ask for a favor.”

“And here I thought you just missed me.” He joked but felt bad when he saw the pain flash across her face. “Sit, please.” 

They sat on the same side of the desk in the two leather chairs. While not touching or being overtly intimate, anyone passing by would know that they were very comfortable with each other.

“I came to talk about Reese.” 

“I figured.” He nodded. 

Years of cases, trial prep, trials, plea bargaining and various other law related interests had bonded them closer than any partner Sharon had ever had on the job. Working lunches, business dinners, drinks after work had bonded them closer than any friend Sharon had ever had. And she had laid waste to all that, that strong friendship, that amicable connection with the prosecutor’s office. 

“They’re not going to arraign him until tomorrow…” 

“It’s not my case.”

“I know.” She said and looked down at the floor for a moment. She’d done her research, Jane Goldstein was trying it, she hadn’t ever met her but she was fairly certain that her reputation proceeded her throughout the prosecutor’s office. “I just thought maybe you could talk to Goldstein. Reese is a good kid. He’s troubled and confused but who isn’t at his age?” 

“The charges aren’t going to be dropped. This is not a good climate in which to make it look like the DA’s office gives free passes to cops’ kids.” 

Sharon’s eyes burned with tears she wouldn’t cry. Not here, not like this, not with Jeff. She let out a steadying breath. “He’s only seventeen years old. He’s still my baby.”

“I really wish I could help.” He said sincerely, “but it’s not my call. It’s the DA’s and he’s cracking down hard on gang violence. If you can get Reese to say he was coerced maybe I can do something. If it looks like _he’s_ a victim of the gang violence, that he believed his safety was in danger maybe it could be pled down to community service. He’s got good grades and no record, the DA should be amenable to pleading.” 

Sharon nodded and stood, feeling dizzy and lightheaded. Jeff jumped up and caught her elbow as she swayed, “sit, let me get you some water.”

“No, I have to go.” She insisted, “I have to pick up some things for Reese and get back before visiting hours are over.” 

“You can’t leave like this. You won’t make it to the parking garage.” He guided her back to the chair and she sank into it wearily. She heard water running somewhere behind her and a moment later she was handed a glass of water. 

“Let me drive you.” 

“You can’t.” Sharon shook her head. 

“I’m not going to send you out to drive when you’re this distraught just because my wife might get mad.”

Sharon finished the water and stood. “I’m not going to faint. I’m not fragile.” 

“I don’t think you’re fragile. I think if it were me and Timmy, I’d be a wreck. I know how strong and tough you are and I would hope that you trust me enough to ask for help if you need it.” 

Sharon moved closer to where he stood and hesitated a moment. He leaned forward and drew her into a hug. It was exactly what she’d needed and he knew that she’d never have asked. 

He held her tightly and thought she never wanted it to end. She let her head rest against his and her eyes welled up again. Jealous wives be damned, she needed this hug, needed to feel some comfort from someone who cared about her. She had a painful shortage these days, the end result of a series of selfish actions. 

He gave her a squeeze and let her go slowly. Sharon sighed inwardly. “Maureen’s a lucky woman, I hope she knows that. How is it you got a slap on the wrist and I ended up in divorce court?”

“Women are more forgiving than men.”

“You’ve obviously never had teenaged daughters.” Sharon smiled. 

“Your marriage was over long before us. You and Vince were on a sinking ship, you just jumped off first.” 

“I didn’t come here to talk about me.” Sharon pulled away, not wanting to rehash the old feelings if she didn’t have to. “Or us or the complete absence of an ‘us.’ I shouldn’t have bothered you. Thank you for the water.” 

**

Vince opened the door for Sharon. She marched into the house as she would have when she’d lived there, though she’d been forced to knock to gain entrance this time. “Don’t answer your phone anymore?”

“Come on in.” He sniped. “I call screen.”

“You’re not interested in our son’s arrest?” Sharon narrowed his eyes.

“What is there to do?” Vince snapped, “he’s getting arraigned tomorrow.” 

“In the meantime he’s in county and you could go see him and tell him you love him. You could show him that you support him.” 

“He’s innocent, he doesn’t need my support.” 

Sharon didn’t even feel like dignifying that with a response. “I’m going to get a few things out of his room and then go down and see him. I’ll even drive you down there.” 

“The police station, jail…” Vince shook his head, “that’s your world.”

“I’m not asking you to come to a stakeout with me. Do you not understand what I’m saying? _Reese_ is down there. Your _son_ is down there. He’s been _arrested_.” 

“I’m not fucking stupid, Sharon, I know he’s been arrested! There were goddamn policemen traipsing through here this afternoon, it would be pretty goddamned hard not to have noticed!”

“Then start acting like you give a shit!” 

“You’re going to start lecturing me about caring about the family. Like you fucking cared about our family?” 

“I’m not going to get into this with you, this isn’t why I came here.” She sneered and started down the hallway to Reese’s bedroom and Vince followed after her. 

“I’m sick of you acting like you’re hot shit, like you always take the moral high ground, like you always do the right thing. You always do what’s best for _you_ and maybe just this one fucking time I’d like to do what’s right for _me_.”

Sharon grabbed a backpack from the floor and pulled out several textbooks and checked it for any objects that could be construed as weapons and ended up dumping the remaining contents out on the bed. 

“Say something, damnit!” 

Sharon gritted her teeth and started pulling open drawers. Nothing in the house was as she remembered it, everything seemed foreign now. When had Reese changed which drawer he kept his pyjamas in, when had he started wearing boxer shorts? It occurred to her he’d probably have to shave too. She’d been trying so hard to give him space that she’d all but removed herself from his life. 

She shoved a pair of sweats into the bag and found an old t-shirt before seeking out clean socks and underwear and he’d need a nice set of clothes for the arraignment, it wouldn’t do to show up looking like he’d spent the night in jail. 

“Sharon!” Vince grabbed her by the arm and forceably pulled her back. Her nostrils flared in anger.

“ _What?_ What do you want me to say? Do you want me to absolve you of guilt for not going to see him?” She seethed. “We’ve both been selfish. We were both worried about our own interests without thinking of the kids or each other. Don’t start acting like you’ve been a saint. It’s been five years, aren’t you over it yet? Can’t you move the fuck on and stop blaming me for everything that goes wrong in your life? You’re a motherfucking adult, start acting like it!” 

Rage coursed through her. It seemed that everyone she encountered that day had been designed specifically to send her spiraling through emotions until she had a breakdown. As god as her witness, she was not going to break down. She was better than this day, she was not going to let this day win, not when she was already almost all the way through it.


	6. Chapter 6

Vince made her so angry. Five years and he wouldn’t let it go, wouldn’t let her move on. That’s the trouble with having kids under eighteen with an ex, you couldn’t really escape them until the kid moved out on their own. 

Vince had fought for full custody and then started bitching that Sharon was never around. She’d wanted alternating weeks and ended up getting every other weekend which quickly degenerated into if she wasn’t working and if Reese felt like it and, usually, he didn’t. She paid her child support, called in dutifully to see how he was doing, always asked him if he wanted to come over but she never pushed it when he said no. Parents make decisions for their kids all the time, why hadn’t she just told him tough shit and showed up to pick him up? Hindsight is always 20/20. 

Reese was still mad at her over the divorce. How could he not be? Vince was still pissed at her, Reese lived with that. Lived with Vince’s opinion of her – which she was aware was quite low – and his word was gospel because Reese had never gotten to know Sharon as a person. She was the mother who’d been busy during his early and mid-childhood and completely absent at the end. 

Sharon turned away from Vince again to grab a suit from the closet. Her mother had sent him a suit and she had taken him to get it tailored. She tried to think about how long ago that was and whether he’d had a growth spurt since then. Did Vince ever think to get him a suit? 

The closet door slid open and the suit from her mother hung there. The rest of the things in the closet were piled on the floor and packed onto the shelf above. She pulled the suit out and quickly looked it over for stains or rips. 

“Does this still fit him?” 

“Yeah, I think so.” Vince grumbled. “You’d probably know if you were ever around.”

“Don’t start with me. I’m in a time crunch right now. If you want to schedule a time to give me shit we can do that or you could get in the car and come down with me and wish your son a good night and tell him you’ll see him tomorrow at his bail hearing.” 

“I have work tomorrow.” 

“Christ in heaven, Vince.” Sharon threw up her hands in defeat. “I’d like to tell you that I don’t care what you do and usually that’s completely true but right now I _do_ care because Reese will want to see you and you’ll regret it later if you don’t come with me.” 

“I can’t.” 

“In life there are only a few chances to do the right thing and then we spend the rest of the time regretting or reveling our decisions.” 

“Did you read that on a bumper sticker?” He snorted as she walked down the hall and back to the front door, Vince at her heels. 

Sharon put the backpack over one shoulder and carefully laid the suit over her arm. “Come on, Vince, get in the car.” Sharon pulled her keys from her pocket and remote unlocked her car. 

“No, I don’t want to drive with you.” 

“So take your own car but _come_ , please.” 

“I’ll see you, Sharon.” Vince said softly as the door slammed shut in her face. 

The man was infuriating. She got into her car and sat in the driveway for nearly five minutes hoping that he’d change his mind. She sighed and picked up her phone, dialing the house number. 

“What?” He snapped. 

“Why won’t you go see him?” Sharon demanded. “If it’s because you don’t want to go with me I won’t go tonight, I’ll see him at the arraignment in the morning. You can take his stuff over to him. You should go, he needs his father.” 

“Jesus, Sharon, why can’t you just let this drop?” 

“Because you’re being stupid.” 

“Insults. That’s your answer for everything – well, insults and fucking other men.” 

“Ordinarily I would hang up on you right now,” she said through gritted teeth, “but I’m sticking it out because this isn’t about me…” 

“Nothing’s ever about you, everything’s always someone else’s fault.” 

“Why are you trying to pick a fight with me right now?” Sharon groaned, leaning her head back against the headrest in frustration. “If you’re not going to let it drop… I’ve apologized a million times, I suggested we try to work it out and you filed for divorce.” 

“You cheat on me and _I’m_ the bad guy!” Vince scoffed. “You suggested we try to work it out because you got caught not because you felt bad.”

“It’s possible to be both. Just because I got caught didn’t mean I didn’t feel guilty.” 

“Just not guilty enough not to fuck some guy.” 

“He wasn’t some guy, he was a friend that I cared about very much and I’m not making excuses for myself but it’s not like I just woke up one morning and though ‘I have no respect for my husband anymore, how many orgies can I get into the middle of today?’” Sharon let out a frustrated growl, “how do you suck me into this every time? What can I do to get you to visit Reese?”

“Just _go_ , aren’t you on a time crunch?”

“I want to give you plenty of time to change your mind.” 

“To see things your way you mean.”

“Fine. Christ. I can’t hold your hand forever. Fine.. Don’t go see Reese, let him think his father doesn’t give a shit. That’s not my problem, that’s yours. Just don’t say I didn’t try when you realize you’ve missed all your chances to step up and be a man.” 

She ended the call and threw the phone onto the passenger seat. It bounced on the cushion and thumped to the floor. It vibrated and rang as Vince tried to call back but Sharon was already out of the driveway and getting ready to turn onto the Pomona Freeway. The ringing sounded louder than usual as though it mirrored Vince’s anger until it finally stopped. For a minute the only sound in the Nissan Versa was the wind as she spend down her lane and then the phone beeped to signal that it had a new message. 

Sharon reached up to rub her eyes and realized that tears had sprung to her eyes. 

**

When she arrived at the holding center the lights were low in the entryway and she looked at her cell phone, she was almost half an hour late for visiting hours. She stood in the darkened room, trying to decide what to do next when a guard passed through. 

“Sorry, lady,” she shook her head, her weighted belt clattering as she moved. “Visiting hours ended.” 

Sharon started to dig around in her purse and the guard looked annoyed. When Sharon pulled out her badge instead of a bribe the guard was surprised. “Please? I just need to drop off some things for my son – Reese Delahunt – he’s just seventeen and he’s never been in lock up and I… I just want him to be as comfortable as I can make him.”

“What’s in the bag?” The guard asked. 

Sharon held it out to her, “just a set of sweats to sleep in, clean socks and underwear and a toothbrush and toothpaste.” 

The guard inspected the backpack, looking through it thoroughly to make sure there were no weapons inside. “Okay, five minutes and then I really gotta shut down the front entrance.” 

“Thank you. Thank you.” 

“Are you carrying?” The guard asked, looking at Sharon’s purse, “you’ll have to leave your purse with me.” 

“Of course.” Sharon pocketed her cell phone and left the purse at the guard’s station. 

“Delahunt.” The guard called from the doorway, “visitor.” 

Reese pushed himself up from the cot and walked over to the bars. “Hi.” He said, sticking his arms through the bars and leaning against them. “Where’s dad?”

“He…” Sharon faltered and then offered a small smile, “said he’d see you tomorrow.” 

“What’s that?” Reese nodded to the bag, “you want me to do my geometry homework or something?”

“I can write you a note saying your cell mate ate your homework.” Sharon smiled and held up the backpack, “it’s sweats and socks and underwear and your toothbrush. Just the essentials. Have you talked to your lawyer?” 

Reese nodded, “bail hearing’s tomorrow?” 

Sharon took a deep breath, “yes, it’s scheduled for ten. I brought your suit, the one your grandmother gave you. Does it still fit you?” She sighed, that didn’t matter right now, she was dwelling on trivialities. “I’ll come see you before the hearing, bring you your suit.”

He nodded and was silent for a few minutes. “When’s dad going to come?” 

Sharon shook her head, “I don’t know.” 

He pulled the backpack through the bars. “Thanks for the stuff.”

“You’re welcome,” Sharon took a step back, “sleep well.” She said as Reese disappeared back into the overcrowded lockup. 

On the drive home she listened to Vince’s voicemail. She expected it to be insulting and scathing and she wasn’t disappointed. Sometimes she couldn’t remember what it had felt like to love him because all she could remember was the all-consuming feeling of anger that he inspired in her now. 

She wasn’t even sure she felt sorry for cheating on him anymore. 

Except that if she hadn’t and she’d just had the balls to tell him she wanted a divorce maybe it wouldn’t have divided the family the way it had. Maybe Vince wouldn’t have fought so hard for sole custody of Reese. 

Ifs consumed Sharon as she pulled into her assigned parking space and let herself into her house with wearily scuffing feet. They continued to gnaw at her as she lay down to go to sleep and even managed to seep into her dreams as she drifted off. 

**

“How does your client plead, Mr. Mitchell?” 

“Not guilty, your honor.” 

“And what is the state’s bail recommendation?” The judge turned to look at the prosecutor. 

“The state requests remand, your honor.” 

“Seems a little steep for accessory.” 

“The charges are related to possible gang affiliations.” Jane Goldstein, the state’s attorney, pointed toward Reese, who sat by his own attorney. 

Reese’s lawyer was one of Sharon’s choosing, which, surely would later spark an argument with Vince, but she trusted Eli Mitchell to do a good job. She’d known Eli for a long time. As Vince had said this was the world that she lived in. 

“Your honor,” Eli started, “my client goes to a very nice school and hasn’t ever been in any trouble before.” 

“Are you saying that kids who go to good schools can’t do bad things?” The judge raised his eyebrows judgmentally. 

“Not at all, your honor. I’m just pointing out that Mr. Delahunt attends school everyday, he’s had two absences in the past three years because he got his wisdom teeth removed. He’s involved in school sponsored sports and he competed in the regional math competition, he’s a straight A student. This is a good kid your honor, this is not a criminal.”

“This is a bail hearing, counselor, we’re not deciding the case.” 

“Of course, your honor,” Eli nodded, “I’m merely explaining to you why Mr. Delahunt should not be kept in jail for the duration of his trial. He’s in the middle of his senior year of High School and this is an extremely crucial time in his education.” 

The judge nodded, “I’m inclined to agree.” He looked over towards prosecution. “Anything to add, Ms. Goldstein?”

“The East 88s don’t care about the defendant’s education, if he’s involved with the gang he’s involved and, A student or not, it would be irresponsible to release him.” 

“Your honor, if I may,” Eli spoke up. “Would opposing counsel be happy if, while not at school, Mr. Delahunt was supervised by a member of law enforcement.” 

“Yes.” Jane said with some exasperation. 

“So remand him to the custody of his mother, Force Investigation Division Captain Sharon Raydor.” Eli smiled charmingly. 

“Is Captain Raydor here now, counselor?” 

Sharon was already standing and raised her hand at this point, “right here, your honor.” 

“And you agree to these terms?”

“I do.”

The judge banged his gavel and announced, “defendant is remanded to his mother’s custody.”

**

“You sure you want to do this?” Brenda asked, looking up at Fritz over her glasses. 

“Don’t do that, Brenda,” Fritz shook his head, “don’t look at me like this is all my doing.”

“Well, _I_ didn’t file for divorce.” Brenda mutered. 

“There were a lot of things you didn’t do.” Fritz retorted as he bent to sign his name. He straightened and held the pen out to Brenda. She signed it mechanically, her arm moving in the practiced motion of signing her own name. 

“I suppose this is when we say we’ll still be friends.” Fritz said, suddenly feeling awkward. 

“I’m terrible at keeping in touch.” Brenda’s phone rang and she picked it up without hesitation. Fritz frowned; even right then at that moment work came first. This wouldn’t be a messy divorce like Brenda’s first, there would be no name-calling, but, ultimately, it was all for the same reasons.

“I have to go. My suspect just got attacked and they’re rushing him to the ER.” Brenda offered an apologetic smile.


	7. Chapter 7

“Matthew Costa.” Morales pulled back the sheet to reveal his abdomen that was now stitched shut with stiff black surgical stitches. “Cause of death was a ruptured liver as a result of a stab wound to the abdomen.” 

Brenda, Gabriel and DDA Martin Garnett stood on the other side of the slab, looking down at the chilled body of their suspect. 

“Well, karma’s a bitch.” Garnett said after a long silence. 

Morales, Brenda and Gabriel turned to stare at him with some distaste. He held up his arms, “what? Really? The death penalty was on the table, he confessed. So what about the other kid?” 

Brenda furrowed her brow and looked over at the insensitive deputy district attorney. “The kid who stabbed _him_?”

“No, no.” Martin shook his head, looking at something on his Blackberry. “The accomplice. Should I recommend we drop those charges?” 

“No.” Brenda rolled her eyes, “he was an accomplice to a felony, just because the actual perpetrator is dead doesn’t mean that he’s any less culpable.” 

Martin nodded, “I’ll talk it over with the DA.” He pocketed his phone and departed. 

“Chief, we never got a chance to ask Costa if Captain Raydor’s son had prior knowledge. Don’t you feel… just a little uneasy about trying him?”

“First of all, Sergeant, his name is Reese Delahunt, don’t call him Captain Raydor’s son. Second of all, no, I don’t. I think the kid is guilty as sin.” 

**

Reese let them into the house and he went straight to his bedroom. Sharon walked the perimeter of the living room, feeling like a foreign entity in the house she’d called home for over twenty years. The house was deceptively identical to how she’d left it. 

She’d been pregnant with their oldest child, Rich, when they’d bought it. She had had a big contract with Macintosh and Vince had landed a job as a mid-level programmer for a medical database software developer; they were so proud to buy a new home. All the furniture and decorations were the same ones Sharon had chosen the last time they’d redecorated; Vince just shifted the furniture around and taken down their wedding picture. 

Their wedding picture had been the focal point of the room; it had been 24x36” matted and framed poster. It had hung above the brick fireplace where there now hung a giclee print of Starry Night – which definitely didn’t go with the color scheme. She hadn’t ever trusted Vince to make any color decisions. 

She sat on the plush Chenille sofa to wait for Reese. 

She heard keys jingling outside the door and Vince walked in. It took him a moment to see Sharon and when he did he frowned. “Breaking into the house now?”

“Reese is just getting some things.” 

“What do you mean he’s just getting some things? They let him out to come get ‘some things’?” Vince put his shopping bag down. “I don’t get the penal system.” 

“They let him out for the duration of the trial as long as he stays with me.” 

“Hey, no, I don’t think so, Sharon. I have _full_ custody!” Vince objected. “You can’t just decide he stays with you now.”

Sharon sighed heavily and rubbed her temples, “it’s court ordered, Vince, because he’s on bail as long as he stays with me.” 

“I will go down to the court and deal with this, Sharon, don’t think I won’t.” 

“Oh, I believe it Vince. When it comes to you doing stupid and pigheaded things I never doubt it for a minute.” Sharon stood up from the couch, “you have time to go down and try to prove to the court that I’m wrong about everything all the time but you didn’t have time to come down to court today?” 

“Don’t start that again.” Vince spat. 

Though he couldn’t hear the words exchanged, Reese could hear his parents fighting all the way from his bedroom. His brothers and sister had hated the divorce but Reese was the only one who’d lived with the fighting, who’d spent nights with his pillow pressed against his ear trying to drown them out. He had been glad when Sharon walked out one night, he just didn’t realize that she wasn’t ever going to walk back in. 

He gripped the handle of his duffel bag and walked down the hall. “I’m ready to go.” He announced, breaking up whatever argument they were having. 

Vince turned to look at his son. “I was just telling your mother that I’ll get this dealt with and you can come home.” 

“Don’t sweat it, dad. I was getting used to jail and mom’s place’ll do in a pinch.” Reese and Vince shared a laugh at Sharon’s expense, but, she acknowledged, he seemed to successfully diffuse the argument. 

**

“Did you get all your things? Did you get the baseball thingy? I put it-”

“In the back of the closet. Behind your Salvation Army box. I know. It didn’t go unnoticed.” Fritz said, hauling a box of books through the living room. 

“Maybe that’s part of the problem. Maybe you noticed everything but didn’t ever bother telling me about it; you just wait for me to notice and then, when I don’t, I’m supposed to learn some lesson. Except I never learn this lesson because I didn’t know I’d done something wrong.”

“An entire week’s worth of missed dinners, shoving all of my baseball memorabilia into the closet… you don’t see anything wrong with those things?” 

“I missed dinners because of work. I solve murders in real time.” 

“Brenda, stop, just stop. I don’t want to get into this anymore. We signed the papers, we’re done with this and what you do or don’t do _doesn’t matter_ to me anymore.” 

“So you got all your things?” She asked from the doorway as he packed the box into his car with the ten other boxes. 

“Well, except Joel’s things.” He shrugged. 

“What?” Brenda demanded, face falling. “ _What_? You’re taking Joel? No, you can’t take Joel, you gave him to me!”

“I bought a cat, you claimed him.” Fritz snorted, “when’s the last time you went grocery shopping?” 

Brenda opened her mouth but had to think and realized she wasn’t sure when the last time she’d gone to the supermarket was, so she closed her mouth. 

“What kind of food does he eat?”

“Um… well, it’s in a white-ish bag and it’s round and brown and crunchy. I don’t know what it’s _called_! You just take everything over, you can’t say ‘you never do these things’ if you don’t even give me a chance.” Brenda snapped, “I had a cat before we were married and he was healthy and happy and he was my Kitty. You got Joel and you picked special food for him and named him a stupid name and decided _when_ grocery shopping had to get done. You decided all of these things and you made rules in your head that you expected me to live by and then when I can’t you just gave up.” 

“It wasn’t a matter of _can’t_ , Brenda, it was that you _wouldn’t_.” Fritz barked, “it’s that you decided our marriage wasn’t important enough.”

“You know…” Brenda shook her head, laughing wryly, “the saddest thing about this whole fiasco is that you don’t even realize that it was _always_ important to me. _You_ were _always_ important to me.” 

“Don’t kid yourself. _Nothing _is important to you like your job is.”__

__“Just get Joel and go.” Brenda said sternly. “I am done with this conversation. I am done with you.”_ _

__**_ _

__Sharon let Reese into the house. Of the handful of times he’d been there, this was the second in three days and Sharon felt a pang of regret._ _

__“Can we order a pizza?” Reese asked, flopping down on the couch._ _

__“Before anything else,” Sharon started, sitting across from him on the plum colored Aberdeen chaise, “we’re going to lay out some ground rules. I will be dropping you off at and picking you up from school, that’s not a discussion. You cannot get rides or take public transportation. You cannot go out with friends or go to friends’ houses but I’d be happy to let you have friends over as long as you do your homework. These are not me being a drag, these are court prescribed terms. I will not tolerate these rules being broken and if you willfully violate any of these terms I will drive you back to jail myself. Clear enough?”_ _

__Reese nodded curtly._ _

__Sharon stood, “all that having been said… I love you and I just want everything to work out. I’m… I’m afraid that you don’t realize how serious this.”_ _

__“I know, ma.” Reese said, “I know it’s serious. I spent last night in jail. I think I get it.”_ _

__Without granting herself any time to think better of it, Sharon wrapped her arms around her son and held him tightly. She leaned her cheek against the top of his head, he had soft hair just like hers, she kissed his temple._ _

__“Not a thing in this world could ever make me stop loving you.” She whispered._ _

__“Don’t go all mushy on me now. You’re as bad as dad.” Reese, being a seventeen-year-old boy, was uncomfortable with his mother’s affection. “So can we order a pizza or what?”_ _

__“How about you can have pizza if you eat a salad first?”_ _

__“How about I’ll eat a salad if you stop trying to pop me.” He half heartedly tried to squeeze out of Sharon’s embrace._ _

__Finally she let go, “you drive a hard bargain.”_ _


	8. Chapter 8

Brenda’s world was starting to turn back into something she recognized. Her things strewn about the living room brought back the feeling of selfish comfort of not having to keep her space neat as a pin. The wine bottles on top of the counter and not hidden away in the pantry closet like a dirty little secret, her clothes not being squished to the side of the closet, the distinct absence of little hairs from Fritz shaving, it all reminded her that she was a bachelor. 

Despite missing Joel and Fritz – his cooking, if nothing else – she remembered that she enjoyed solitude, enjoyed not being responsible for anyone else. She’d known from day one that she didn’t want children, she’d left her dollies under car seats, out in the rain, at friends houses so many times it was obvious to her that she had no maternal instinct. Apparently, she didn’t even want a significant other, not one that made demands of her. 

She moved through the house without worrying that her every action would lead to a fight. It was freeing. She was free again. 

Back at work, she hadn’t seen Captain Raydor in nearly a week and a half. In the garage, one evening, she thought maybe she’d seen the back of her head but she didn’t count it. It was good to be rid of the woman again. 

The trial began the following Tuesday. It was a sunny California day and people milled about as they would any other day while Sharon Raydor sat nervously behind the defense table in the rows of seats. 

The first day had gone well. The second day had not gone well. Brenda was testifying on the third day. 

From the stand, Brenda could feel Sharon’s eyes on her and she was determined not to meet her gaze. She had nothing to feel bad about; she wasn’t going to let Sharon Raydor make her feel bad for doing her job. 

Brenda left Sharon’s disappearing witnesses act out of her testimony. As she got down, she finally made eye contact with Sharon, her expression saying “don’t say I never did anything for you.” Sharon’s expression was impassive and Brenda was disappointed that the Captain wasn’t more incensed. 

Alex and Steven both took the stand and drove home the point that they had no idea that there would be a hit, nor did they know if Reese knew or not. 

During the brief recess Sharon found Sarah Phelps and Andrea Watts in the hallway. They both looked away from her. Sharon considered these women friends and their reaction was deeply disappointing. 

Back in the courtroom she saw Jane Goldstein talking with a distraught woman. Sharon could tell, right away, that that woman was Zachary Bishop’s mother. Her heart went out to her. Regardless of what Mrs. Bishop thought Reese’s involvement was, Sharon knew that she and Mrs. Bishop were not at cross purposes. They both wanted someone to take responsibility for Zachary Bishop’s death. Sharon just knew that Reese was not responsible. 

The day ended on a low note as prosecution finished up with Buzz playing the security camera footage and the jury filed out to sleep on it. 

The following day would be the last day of the trial and Vince still hadn’t shown up. 

“I’m gonna be honest,” Eli announced, setting down his briefcase in the conference room. “The video surveilance really hurt us.” 

Reese stayed silent. He’d dutifully gone to and from school, ate whatever food his mother had offered him, did his homework and went to bed all with very little discourse. 

Sharon paced a little but also remained silent and resigned. 

“Reese, it may be a good idea to put you on the stand. The thing is… because of the footage the jury thinks you knew so whatever you say has to fit in with their realities.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Reese scowled. 

“I want you to get on the stand and tell the jury that Matthew Costa threatened you.” 

“No!” Reese shouted, sitting up straight in the chair. 

“Reese,” Sharon put a hand on his shoulder. “Think about it.”

“I don’t fucking have to think about it. I’m not going to do it.” 

Sharon looked at Eli, “can you give us a minute?”

Eli left the room wordlessly and Sharon paced the length of the room a few more times. Reese spoke first, “forget it, you’re not going to convince me.” He grumbled. 

“Reese, we’re talking about your future, we’re talking about the next five to ten years of your life. You could get ten years in prison.” Sharon said, then for emphasis repeated, “ _prison_.”

“And if I get on the stand and say Matt made me do it that’s purgery and ain’t that a crime, too?”

“I don’t want you to go to prison.” Sharon snapped, “is that so wrong? Christ on a cross… I know that Matt was your friend but… I’m sure he’d want you to do this for yourself, he wouldn’t want you to throw your life away.”

“Just because you don’t give a fuck about loyalty doesn’t mean that the rest of us have to be big whores too.” 

Sharon sucked in a breath. Reese’s words were the lexical equivalent of running her down with a mack truck and she reeled for a long moment. Finally anger washed over her features and she slammed her hand down on the table hard enough to upset the plastic cup of water. Reese startled and watched his mother with trepidation. 

“I don’t give a _shit_ what you think of me.” She snarled in a low, menacing tone, “I am still your mother and you treat me with _respect_.” 

Reese was more and more like Vince every day. So much anger, so much resentment for Sharon bubbled up inside him. She knew that it was pain and turmoil and it came from loving her and losing her but it didn’t make the insults hurt any less. Whether he loved her or not it didn’t make it okay to call her names. 

Reese was more and more like Vince every day and no one knew quite how to push her over the edge of sanity into blind fury like Vince did. Reese was obviously a quick study. 

**

Neither Reese nor Sharon spoke during the drive home and when they arrived at her condo they went their separate ways. Sharon threw together a meal which they both picked at with disinterest. Reese excused himself to go to bed. 

Sharon spent the next few hours cleaning her kitchen, living room and her ensuite bathroom. When she finally fell into bed, exhausted, she began to cry. She didn’t even realize it was happening until she felt the tears drip from her cheeks and begin to soak the pillow. Once it had started she couldn’t stop; soon her whole body was wracked with silent sobs. 

The weight of everything happening in her life from the past week, the past month, the past five years of her life seemed to slam into her all at once. She was alone and miserable and had very little going for her. If those weren’t good reasons to cry, Sharon Raydor didn’t know what was. 

**

Brenda Leigh Johnson was laying on her stomach, her limbs outstretched in all directions, taking up as much of the queen-sized bed as a woman with such a small frame could hope to. She was revelling in the space and the quiet and the complete lack of demands. She wondered when missing him was going to come. Maybe it wasn’t going to. 

Maybe she’d stayed with Fritz because it was easier than leaving him. Though, to hear Fritz tell it, she _had_ left him: “emotionally.” What did _that_ mean? It wasn’t enough that she came home to him every night, that she never strayed, not once? That she never even looked at another man? Did it not count for anything that she’d loved him? 

What was it that Reese Delahunt had said to her? “You should ask my mom if it ever stops hurting.” Was Sharon still hurting? “Bossy control freaks who drive everyone away.” Or did Reese mean that Sharon did the hurting? Was Reese still hurting from his parents’ divorce? 

Brenda opened her eyes, suddenly realizing that she’d spent the better part of the last half hour thinking about _that woman_. Sharon had looked like a statue, cold and unmoveable, sitting behind her son in the courtroom. Sharon Raydor made a terrible witness, she was too rigid and controlled, juries didn’t react well to icy composure. The jury saw the sobbing mother of the boy who’d been shot and the mechanical coolness of the woman who’s son probably helped plan it. 

Probably helped? Brenda chewed her bottom lip; when had she lost her certainty of Reese’s guilt? Was it the day that Sharon had shown up at Major Crimes after Reese had been arrested and she stared through Brenda with those deep, sad green eyes?

Those beautiful, soulful greens. Brenda had never met someone with eyes so beautiful; in a concrete jungle Sharon’s eyes made her think of rolling hills and lush vegetation. 

Brenda looked over at the clock and sighed. How exactly had Sharon Raydor managed to insert herself into Brenda’s fading consciousness? Brenda pulled the extra pillow against her body, bending to wrap herself around it, and fell asleep to thoughts of rolling hills and a green eyed Sharon looking up at her from a bed of rich greens and oranges and reds.


	9. Chapter 9

Sharon spent the last day of the trial in a daze. She spent more time spacing out than she had in her whole life. Eli turned to look back at her a few times to find her picking at some invisible imperfection in the bench. 

Reese didn’t speak the entire last day of the trial except grunted yeses and nos to Eli. Eli had the sinking feeling that Reese was going to go to jail because of a feud between mother and son and no amount of legalese was going to change that. 

Brenda snuck into the courtroom as Eli was getting up to make his closing argument. She wasn’t one hundred percent sure what force brought her to court. She tried to tell herself that it was because she wanted to see Sharon expressing an emotion. It was more than that, though, Brenda felt compelled to be there; she wanted to be near Sharon. 

The jury filed out and Brenda slipped quietly out of the court room. 

**

For the first time since Fritz left, Brenda felt alone and a desperate emptiness was starting to tug at her around the edges. She was attempting to ignore the majority of the feelings by reorganizing the living room. Reorganizing the living room quickly turned into pulling everything onto the floor and drinking wine, contemplating why she even bothered and now she had to put everything away.

The doorbell rang and Brenda looked at the clock. It was almost midnight and she wasn’t sure that she wanted to open the door. She’d had one too many scary encounters at her own home to be comfortable opening the door at midnight. 

The doorbell rang again and Brenda cautiously approached it, working up the nerve to look through the peephole. 

“Chief Johnson?” 

That was the last voice she expected to hear. She opened the door then, out of surprise, if nothing else. “Captain Raydor?” 

“Yeah… hey…” she said, grinning with embarrassment, leaning against one of the pillars. “Word on the street is you listen to confessions.” 

“Did you drive here?”

“I’m _drunk_ , I’m not stupid.” Sharon snapped, “I took a cab.”

“How did you know where I lived?”

Sharon held up her iPhone, “you’re listed.”

“Good lord, you get the internet on your phone?” Brenda blinked. Sharon glared. Brenda stepped back, “well, you might as well come in, you got all the way over here.” 

Sharon stepped into the house and pulled a wine bottle from her bag. “I brought a Shiraz, do you have a cork screw?” 

“Do I have a cork screw?” Brenda scoffed, “come into the kitchen.” 

Wine poured and both women sitting at the kitchen table, Sharon stared down into her drink. Brenda was pretty sure she knew the outcome of the trial but didn’t want to press Sharon. 

Sharon bit her lip and closed her eyes, “there was no emotional scene, there was nothing. He turned around and looked at me and I just looked at him and then… he was gone. It was just… what the fuck was wrong with me? I’m his fucking mother and I was too _mad_ at him to tell him I loved him before the baliff took him away.” 

“I’m sure he knows you love him.” Brenda said, not really knowing anything about Sharon, but remembering her brother raising hell and driving Willie Ray crazy when he was a teenager. “He’s a teenaged boy.” 

Sharon laughed ironically, “so is my ex-husband. He didn’t show up to the trial, he didn’t call him. I’m trying not to get in the middle of his issues but where does the line… when do you say I have to do something about this because it’s affecting my kids?” 

“I’m so glad I never had children.” Brenda shook her head, “I can’t stick with any relationship longer than five years. My whole life, five years, my longest relationship.” 

“Good for you for at least _knowing_ you don’t want those relationships. Half of my marriage was… I was morbidly unhappy and my kids suffered for that. No, it was Reese. Reese suffered for that. My other three were all older.”

“Your _other_ three?” Brenda demanded incredulously, “Lord in heaven, tell me you didn’t birth _four_ children.”

“We had one, Rich, and then we wanted a second but then that was twins, Paul and Amelia, and then we… had a little miscommunication with birth control and we had Reese.” 

“I’ve had two pregnancy scares my whole life.”

“I have never had a pregnancy scare. Just pregnancy. I’ve had that a lot.” 

“Did it suck?”

Sharon sipped her wine and shrugged, “it was somewhere between ‘the greatest feeling in the world’ and ‘I’d like to rip my husband’s dick off his body for doing this to me again’ depending on my hormone levels.”

Brenda had to look away to conceal the blush that stole across her features when Sharon said dick. She scolded herself for reacting when it was the least sexual way she could have said it. When she looked back again Sharon looked sad again. 

“Hey, it’s not forever, right?”

“Huh?” Sharon looked up.

“What is it seven years for accessory?” 

“Five.”

“He’ll get out in five years and he’ll still be able to have a life. He can probably even get a degree while he’s in.” 

Sharon let out a laugh, “an associate’s in license plate making, a bachelor’s in laundry, a master’s in not dropping the soap.” 

Brenda let out a small gasp and had to laugh.

“Prison: the only way I’d ever get my son to learn how to do his own laundry and cook meals.” Sharon swirled the wine around in her glass. “Or maybe he does his own laundry and cooks. I don’t even know. My husband never did those things but obviously he eats and wears clothes, I guess old dogs can learn new tricks.” 

Brenda shrugged, “Fritz used to do all those things for me… I’ve gotten take out every night since he moved out and I have ho-hos for breakfast.”

Sharon burst out laughing, “you do _not_.”

“Oh god,” Brenda covered her face with her hands, “it was bad enough saying it the first time and you’re going to make me verify it’s accuracy? Not every morning… this morning I just had coffee. Actually, I got up late and didn’t even have time to make coffee so I got Starbucks on the way into work. I can’t believe what they charged for a large iced caramel macchiato.” 

“Stop,” Sharon insisted, clutching her side with one hand and waving a hand desperately at Brenda, “stop, please, I’m going to choke, I’m laughing so hard.” 

Brenda snorted, “I’m glad you think my life is so funny. I think your life is funny too.” Brenda regretted saying it the moment the words left her mouth, “I didn’t mean that, I was… kidding and then I said…”

Sharon shook her head, “I took it for what it was.” She reached for the wine bottle to find that they’d drunk it already. Wordlessly, Brenda stood from the table and retrieved a bottle of Merlot from her own stash. “My life is… pretty pathetic.” 

“I’m sure it’s not as bad as mine.” Brenda said, feeling sincere about the sentiment. “You know how to cook and do your own laundry and you only have one ex-husband.” 

“Do you know how much time I’ve spent with my own son in the last five years? Probably a couple of months if you strung it all together. My ex has full custody and I have every other weekend and I’d ask and he’s say he didn’t want to and I wouldn’t push… Vince and I got a divorce because he caught me cheating on him… Reese and my daughter Amelia have still not forgiven me. I never pushed either of them… I never just said ‘suck it up, I’m your mother and I love you so give me a goddamn hug.’ And Vince is _still_ mad at me after _five_ years.” 

Brenda just listened. 

“I don’t take full credit for the divorce. We were so unhappy. Everything really started going downhill when I joined the LAPD. He never cared that I had a higher degree than he did. He never cared that I made more money than he did. He _cared_ when I became a cop.” 

“It’s the gun.” Brenda said. Sharon smirked and Brenda nodded, “no, it’s true. It’s threatening because it’s so phallic. Also, it probably kept you out a lot more. I know, believe me, I know what being a lady cop does to a marriage.” 

“ _‘A lady cop’_?” Sharon repeated mockingly.

“I’m drunk, don’t make fun.” Brenda pouted. 

Sharon reached across the table and put her hand over Brenda’s. “I’m sorry.” 

Brenda’s skin was warm to Sharon’s touch, her body on alert. Brenda was desperate to shift the conversation back into safer territory, like how much ex-husbands suck. “I know what you mean, though.” She cleared her throat, “Fritz was always complaining that I didn’t compromise but I did, I compromised all the time, he just wanted certain compromises and I didn’t want to compromise myself like that.”

Sharon nodded knowingly. She also realized that, despite showing up already drunk, Brenda was much drunker than she was. She poured herself another glass. “Yeah. Vince was the same way.” 

“Men.” Brenda muttered. 

“Can’t live with ‘em, can’t reproduce without ‘em.” Sharon took a big swig of the wine. 

“You have kind of a wicked sense of humor, Captain. Why didn’t I ever know that about you?”

“Maybe because you spend most of your time trying to thwart everything I do.” Sharon countered, downing the rest of her glass and pushing it over to Brenda. Brenda poured her another glass and topped off her own.

“That’s true.” Brenda nodded, “you just… I just hate you so much sometimes. You’re too…” 

“Too what? Too much of a bitch?” Sharon asked and Brenda nodded a little bit, “too much of a rule-Nazi?” She asked, Brenda nodded emphatically at that. 

“No… but… yeah… no. It’s just you’re so… so…” She swallowed a gulp of wine, the tart alcohol burning her throat on the way down, “you’re too perfect.” She blurted. 

Sharon let out a disbelieving, “ha!” She grabbed at the wine bottle, “I’m confiscating this, you’re already wrecked.” 

Brenda snatched the bottle away from her. “I am not. You’re aggravatingly _right_ all the time and you always wear such powerful, matchy little outfits and your hair always falls perfectly into place. Like right now, you’re drunk off your ass, probably passed out for a few minutes in the back of a taxi, you just watched your son get hauled off to prison and you look… breathtaking. You’re just… too _perfect_.”

Sharon was touched by Brenda’s words but rolled her eyes, “I did not pass out in a taxi and I’m not _that_ drunk.” 

“Sometimes… I wish I was you.” Brenda said and then looked as surprised at the admission as Sharon. She tilted the bottle of wine and squinted at it with a furrowed brow, “what is in this? Did I just say that? I want to die right now…” 

“Maybe we should make some coffee.” Sharon stood up and walked over to the coffee pot and set about cleaning out the grounds. 

Brenda leaned on her arm as she watched Sharon move around the kitchen deftly. “You’re hired.” 

“Cheeky.” Sharon scolded playfully.

**

“How did Fritz tell you he wanted a divorce?” Sharon asked, her hands wrapped around a warm mug of coffee as she lounged on the couch in Brenda’s living room. 

“I was in the middle of a big case…” Brenda said, frowning at the memory. “I got home and I asked him if he wanted me to order Chinese and he just said it. He said he was tired of waiting around for it to be a good time. How is it fair, though? After a long day and a hard case, he just sprang it on me like that?” 

Sharon nodded with sympathy and sipped the coffee. 

“He acts like it was a picnic living with him… like it was a crime that I sometimes left dishes in the sink or didn’t really cook. Women have been putting up with that sort of stuff for forever and as soon as a man is asked to cook a few meals and do a few dishes it’s a huge injustice.” 

“I did that shit for Vince and he still asked me for a divorce. Okay, I suppose the infidelity was a big reason he asked me for it.” Sharon snorted a laugh and then looked embarrassed for a moment. The coffee was still working on sobering her up. “After Reese was born little problems went from bad to worse. He was mad that I worked so much and then he had to do more baby care because I had to work. I worked at home when I had my other kids so I did all of the baby care. We had three kids that were ten and twelve and a new baby all of a sudden… Rich, Paul and Amelia never warmed up to Reese, they’re not even the same generation, they’re so different. Rich, Paul and Amelia were already long out of the house before we got divorced. In retrospect, it was completely cowardly and irresponsible of me to cheat instead of just telling Vince how unhappy I was…”

Brenda shrugged a little. “Hindsight’ll kick you when you’re down every time. Maybe you shouldn’t have cheated but you know what you felt like was the right thing to do at the time. Maybe cheating was the right thing for you at the time. Maybe your major problem is that you never learned how to assert for your own needs.” 

“Do you want to tell Vince that?” Sharon deadpanned, holding out her phone. 

“The silver lining is Reese is out of the house now, right? So you’re done with Vince.” 

Sharon laughed, “another point for the plus column of my son being in prison.” She sipped her coffee. “And I’ll never accidentally run into Vince there.” 

“There you go, there’s another plus.” 

Brenda and Sharon sat in amicable silence for a few minutes. “It’s… I’m _upset_ but I don’t feel like it’s really hit me yet…” 

“It probably hasn’t.” 

“Sometimes…” Sharon stopped to think and then scoffed at herself, “sometimes I don’t know what to feel. I feel like I’m waiting for permission or I’m waiting to be told how to feel. Is that fucked up?” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear before tonight.”

“Alcohol tends to loosen my tongue. Does it bother you? I’m sorry.” 

Brenda smiled, “didn’t I just get through telling you you should do whatever feels right for you?” 

Sharon set her coffee down and turned to lay back on the couch. Her head lay right in front of Brenda’s legs and she closed her eyes. Brenda looked down at the woman on her couch; she was really spectacular. Brenda reached down and stroked Sharon’s hair gently which drew a small mm from the brunette and made Brenda blush. 

Brenda leaned closer and could smell Sharon’s perfume, red wine and strong coffee. Sharon turned a little, pushing her head against Brenda’s thigh. “S’nice.” She murmured. 

Brenda sank back into the couch cushions, feeling perfectly at ease with her fingers buried in Sharon’s lush brunette waves. 

When a car alarm started going off outside Brenda was the first one to wake up. Sharon stubbornly slept through it, reacting only with a soft grumble to Brenda’s shifting. Brenda had slipped down and laid her head on Sharon’s thigh and wrapped her arms around Sharon’s ass. Brenda lifted her head slightly to confirm that Sharon’s head was nestled comfortably against Brenda’s pelvic bone. 

Brenda was overcome with several emotions. The first one was mild embarrassment that the woman could wake at any moment to find Brenda cuddling with her ass. The second one was arousal, every time Sharon shifted – even minutely – it made the heat pooling between Brenda’s thighs all the more difficult to ignore. The third was embarrassment again that the woman had come to her to drink and let off steam because her life had just been turned upside down and all Brenda could think of now was sixty-nining her. Also in the mix were surprise – that her feelings for Sharon had done such a complete 180 – confusion – that she was having these feelings about a woman – and, most surprisingly of all, genuine affection. 

It was by virtue of that genuine affection Brenda knew that the right thing to do was extract herself from their suggestive position and put on a pot of coffee. 

Sharon bared her teeth animalistically, clearly unhappy that Brenda dared move. “Don’t you bite me,” Brenda warned playfully but with an ounce of uncertainty. 

Brenda reached down to support Sharon’s head and managed to squeeze out from under her. Sharon snuggled against the back of the couch and fell back into a deep sleep. 

In the kitchen, Brenda put on a coffee and debated trying to make Sharon breakfast. She chastised herself for the thought, she had never felt the urge to make breakfast for Fritz. Up until two days ago she didn’t even like the woman and now she wanted to make her breakfast in bed? Brenda was a crack detective but sometimes she really didn’t understand herself. 

Sharon was roused by the smell of coffee. At home she always had her coffee pot set to brew at six o’clock so she’d always wake to fresh coffee. Stepping into the kitchen Sharon yawned and reached up to cover her mouth. 

Brenda smiled at her. Sharon’s hair was sticking up from having slept on it and Brenda found herself wanting to reach out and smooth down the deep chocolate colored tresses. Sharon was beginning to remind Brenda of chocolate and Brenda acknowledged how dangerous that association was to her. 

Delicious chocolate that Brenda wanted to savour… 

Sharon gave her a half-hearted smile. She could feel that the despondency was setting in in a big way and standing in Brenda’s kitchen made her feel sad. The only two friendships she’d had that the divorce hadn’t ruined were now ruined by recent events and here she was, standing in Brenda Leigh Johnson’s kitchen. The woman had been her arch nemesis and in a matter of weeks she’d become the only person with whom she’d had a serious, heartfelt conversation in years. 

Sharon was ashamed of herself for getting drunk and showing up on Brenda’s doorstep. She was grateful that Brenda was such a hospitable southern lady and that she hadn’t slammed the door in Sharon’s face. Sharon didn’t think she should take advantage of Brenda’s graciousness any longer. 

“I should get going.” 

“Stay!” Brenda blurted out. Embarrassed, she motioned to the coffee pot. “I put on a pot of coffee. And I’ll drive you home afterwards.” 

“I couldn’t impose on you.” Sharon shook her head. 

“It’s not an imposition.” Brenda said softly, somewhat sheepishly. “The coffee is already brewing and… I offered because… because I want to make sure you get home okay.” She admitted. 

Sharon’s eyes softened. 

“Captain, sit.” Brenda pointed to the chair that Sharon had claimed the night before. 

Sharon didn’t put up any more objections and sank into the chair. Brenda grabbed the coffee pot from the base and poured two cups. She set one down in front of Sharon and leaned against the counter to drink her own. 

Brenda took one sip and turned and spat it out in the sink. “Good lord!” 

Sharon grimaced, having taken a sip as well. “Did you use vinegar in this?” The question, though sounding sarcastic, was a serious question. 

Brenda turned on the water and reached out to cup some in her palm. Tasting the water she felt her stomach lurch. She felt panic well up in her chest, Fritz was gone and the house was starting to fall apart. What was she going to do? 

“We’ll, uh… get coffee on the way.” Brenda snatched the coffee cup away from Sharon. All she’d wanted to was make the woman a nice cup of coffee and she couldn’t even do that. Brenda couldn’t fathom what it was, all of a sudden, that made her want to take care of Sharon. Maybe it was that suddenly she didn’t feel like the only one whose life was spiraling away from her control, maybe she felt that Sharon’s situation was more dire than her own. 

Sharon waited patiently while Brenda quickly changed her clothes and hunted for her keys. Sharon was silent during the drive. Brenda wanted to say something but she wasn’t sure what there was to say. 

They reached Sharon’s place and Brenda walked her up the front steps. Sharon paused at the door and looked up into Brenda’s eyes. Brenda silently sucked in a breath, the look on Sharon’s face was sincere and heartfelt and Brenda was taken aback by her own physical reaction to it. 

Sharon’s soft fingers slid over her jawline, she cupped Brenda’s cheeks and searched her eyes. Brenda made no move to extract herself or do anything that she thought might stop Sharon. The brunette leaned forward and, at the last moment, diverted her lips to Brenda’s cheekbone. Sharon leaned her forehead against Brenda’s and closed her eyes. Brenda opened her own slowly, her heart was pounding as she studied what she could see of Sharon’s face from their current angle. 

Sharon slowly pulled away from Brenda and smiled at her. “Thank you…” She bit her lip, “for letting me vent last night.” 

“Anytime, Captain,” Brenda said weakly, “like you said, I listen to confessions. And if you ever want to feel like less of a failure at being a wife you can come watch me try to use the stove.” 

Sharon laughed softly, gave Brenda another small smile and let herself into the condo. Brenda just stood on the doorstep for a few long minutes, the feel of Sharon’s hands on her skin still lingering.


	10. Chapter 10

Over the next few days Brenda was still buzzing from the physical contact from Sharon, the feel of the older woman’s lips on her skin. The kiss itself couldn’t have been more chaste, but the smouldering look they’d exchanged had set Brenda aflame. Brenda had managed to get in touch with the water treatment plant and gotten the water situation fixed, she felt very good about herself. 

Back at work on Monday Brenda found herself smiling more and enjoying the members of her squad the way she’d used to. Flynn and Provenza’s bickering was cute again, David and Julio were sweet and wonderful again, and dear Buzz and Tao were brilliant again. 

“No. Shut-up,” Flynn objected, shaking his head at Provenza, “you are not asking the waitress from the coffee shop to go out with you. She’s probably eighteen, _if_ that!” 

“She is not!” Provenza grumbled, “she’s twenty-eight if she’s a day.” 

“I’m telling you old man, save the little dignity you still have left and forget about it…” Flynn trailed off upon hearing the tell-tale clacking heels of the approaching Captain Raydor. He looked up and locked eyes with her, standing defensively. 

“I just came to speak with Chief Johnson,” Sharon held up a hand, “no need to get up.” 

“If it’s not official business, I think you should probably just leave.” Flynn said protectively, “she’s in a really good mood and… she’s been through enough, she deserves this good mood.”

Indignation flared up in Sharon’s face. She was really close to giving Flynn a piece of her mind when Brenda emerged from her office with a cheerful, “Captain! Come in.” 

Sharon regarded Flynn smugly and followed Brenda into the office. Brenda closed the door behind them and leaned against the desk. “What can I do for you?”

“I just wanted to say thank you for Friday night again. You were very gracious and it was inappropriate of me to go to your house and doubly inappropriate of me to go drunk. I want to apologize – sincerely – and promise that my poor behaviour will not be repeated. I hope you can forgive me.” 

Brenda watched Sharon with stunned disbelief. Had Sharon not been there and felt the same commaraderie as Brenda had? Had she not enjoyed their time even a little bit? Brenda felt like she’d just had the wind knocked out of her. 

Sharon watched Brenda’s reaction quietly. Sharon needed Brenda to forgive her because she’d enjoyed their time together so much that she needed to know that Brenda didn’t begrudge her her rude behavior. 

Finally, Brenda shook her head, “it’s fine, Captain,” she forced a smile. “I forgive you.” 

“Thank you.” Sharon looked relieved. 

Brenda stiffly moved back to sit at her desk.Sharon nodded, “okay, that’s what I came to say, so… have a good day, Chief Johnson.” 

Sharon paused for a moment to allow Brenda time to answer her but Brenda remained silent. Sharon turned and left the office. Brenda let out a long sigh and dropped her glasses to her desktop. 

Flynn watched Sharon walk out of the squad room with suspicion. Brenda was in an absolute shit mood for the rest of the day and Flynn cursed Sharon Raydor to the heavens and back for ruining the serenity of Major Crimes yet again. 

**

By the time Friday rolled around Brenda resolved to take the bull by the horns and stop moping around. She had enjoyed Sharon’s company and she wasn’t going to give it up that easily, if Sharon needed a little encouragement, so be it.

Brenda walked into Sharon’s office and up to her desk and set down the cup of coffee she was carrying. Sharon looked up from her paperwork quizically. 

“Have you been over to see Reese yet?” 

Sharon shook her head, “I’ve been busy.”

“I have to run over to the prison this evening, why don’t you tag along?” Brenda watched Sharon as she mentally debated what to say. “Come on, Captain, do I have to make it an order?”

Sharon shot Brenda a playful glare. “Fine. Yes. I’ll tag along.” 

“Meet me in the garage at six.” Brenda flashed her charming southern grin and turned to leave.

“Your coffee, Chief.”

“I brought that for you. I promised you coffee Saturday morning.” 

Sharon blinked. “Thank you.” 

“See you at six.” Brenda said pointedly before disappearing. 

**

Sharon picked up the telephone and looked through the plexi-glass divider at her son. She could feel her heart breaking just looking at her sweet little boy against the harsh back drop of state prison but she resolved to steel herself. “Are you settling in okay? Do you like your cellmate?”

“Ma, this is prison, not college.” Reese retorted. 

Sharon laughed a little, “hey, give me a break, would you?” Saying the words felt like a huge weight off of her shoulders, she realized that that was what she’d wanted to yell at everyone in her life for years. “Would you rather I ask like ‘yo, what’s the skinny on your cellmate, bro?’”

“No,” he laughed, “no, go back to the first one. You’re gonna get me shivved talking like that.” 

Sharon sighed and studied his features for a few long moments. “You’ve really grown up well, Reese, I haven’t been around much but I want you to know that I’m really proud of you.”

He scoffed, “a lot to be proud of… I’m in prison, we’re talking through two inch thick plexi.” 

“I mean it. You stood up for your principles, you’ve put up with your father’s and my bullshit for most of your life, you’re very smart. There’s nothing not to be proud of, sweetheart.” 

“Come on, shut up.” He looked away embarrassedly.

“I will not shut up. I’m not waiting around for you to love me again so that I can tell you how much you mean to me. I love you. You’re my baby and I haven’t always been the best mother that I could be and I’m… really sorry how everything worked out. I’m not going to play the what if game with you because that doesn’t do anyone any good but from now on I’m going to be everything you need from me.” 

“That was really hard for you to say, wasn’t it?” Reese smiled. 

“One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to say.” Sharon laughed softly.

“You didn’t _have_ to say it.” 

Sharon nodded, “you needed to hear it.” 

“Visiting hours are ending,” a voice came over the loudspeakers. “All visitors start making your way to the marked exits and wait to be escorted out.” 

“I guess that means me…” Sharon bit her lip. “I’ll see you soon, Reese, I love you.” She hung up the phone and stood up. 

“Hey ma, wait,” Reese called into the phone but to no avail. He reached up and banged his palm into the plexi-glass until he got her attention. One of the guards advanced on him, “it’s cool, it’s cool!” He insisted, “I just needed to say one more thing.” He indicated Sharon and the guard nodded reluctantly. 

Sharon picked the phone back up and put it to her ear. 

“You can stop ‘waiting for me to love you again’ because I never didn’t love you.” He sighed, “that was hard for me to say… but you needed to hear it.” 

Sharon nodded, feeling tears spring to her eyes. Reese gave her a small smile before standing and allowing the guard to escort him away. 

“Ma’am,” a guard on her side put a hand on her shoulder and escorted her out when she stood. 

**

Brenda saw Sharon striding across the parking lot and shoved the book she’d been reading into the in between the seats. Sharon opened the door and sat down quietly. Brenda studied her for a moment and took off her glasses, “Capt’n?”

Sharon reached under her own glasses to wipe her eyes. “It was a good visit… I just had one of those moments when I realized that my seventeen-year-old son is more of an adult than I am. He’s such a good kid and I… I can’t take any credit for that.” 

“Come on,” Brenda scoffed, “of course you can, you’re his mother. Your actions have shaped him, no matter what they were. You feel like you were inattentive? Maybe he just needed room to grow and you enabled that in him.” 

Sharon turned to look at Brenda in astonishment. “You know… you’re actually very thoughtful… why didn’t I know that about you?”

Brenda smirked, remembering their conversation the previous Friday. “Maybe because you spend so much of your time trying to nullify my department instead of actually speaking with me.” 

“Won’t make that mistake again.” Sharon smiled and then paused in thought and looked at Brenda scrutiningly. “Were you reading?”

“Yes…” 

Realization washed over Sharon and she looked away embarrassedly for a moment before looking back at Brenda gratefully. 

Brenda narrowed her eyes, “what?” 

“Thank you for bringing me here. You didn’t have to do this and… it was unbelievably nice of you considering our history.” 

“I was coming anyway.”

“To read in the prison parking lot?” Sharon peered at her pointedly over her glasses. 

“Alright!” Brenda insisted, “just put away that mother face. I can’t deal with that. I thought it would be a shame if you didn’t come see him and I thought you might need a push in the right direction.” 

“You’re a mystery, Brenda Leigh Johnson.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Brenda waved it off, afraid that she would blush under the attention. She stuck her key in the ignition and turned the car on, “wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a riddle. I know.” 

As Brenda pulled out of the parking lot Sharon found herself unable to take her eyes off of the younger woman. “Do you have dinner plans?”


	11. Chapter 11

Sharon stood in Brenda’s kitchen, knife in hand, moving elegantly, looking as much like she was in her natural habitat as anyone could. Brenda leaned against the counter in awe of the things Sharon was doing with her hands. 

Sharon looked up at Brenda. “We’ll be eating a lot sooner if you were to help chop the vegetables.” 

“You know…” Brenda started with a wry grin, “this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when you asked me if I had dinner plans.”

“Well, no one’s ever accused me of being a romantic before.” 

“Don’t worry, no one’s going to start now.” Brenda reached over and stole a piece of summer squash. 

“Hey,” Sharon objected playfully, “be nice, I brought the booze, didn’t I?” 

Brenda, reminded of the glass of wine that she’d poured for herself, reached over and picked it up, “yes, you did and it’s a very good wine.” 

“So are you chopping vegetables or are you just watching me?” Sharon pushed aside the squash with the side of her knife and started on the red onion. 

“Watching you.” Brenda said, leaning against the counter next to Sharon, “if we want the tomato sauce to be the only red liquid, I’d say it’s wise to keep the knives away from me.” 

Sharon smiled indulgently. “Would you like to grate the cheese then?”

Brenda considered it for a moment and nodded with a smile, “…I can do that.”

**

After dinner Sharon washed the dishes and Brenda poured her a glass of wine and invited her to sit in the kitchen. It was already well after 11 but Sharon accepted the invitation. 

Dinner had transpired without much conversation but Sharon seemed happy enough to talk in the living room. Despite teasing her earlier, Brenda did think that Sharon bringing food over to show her how to cook was incredibly sweet. Albeit, Brenda did spend most of the time swooning instead of learning. 

“When did you start dating again after your divorce?” 

“I can’t say I really ‘date.’ Every now and then I’ll go out with someone but it’s usually just a one-time thing and they’re usually set-ups.” 

“Is Vince remarried?” 

Sharon snorted a laugh, “no. He’s a very attractive man but he’s always been self-conscious about being a computer programmer because he says it makes people think of an overweight man who engorges himself on mountain dew and fritos in his cubicle. I was approachable because I was a programmer too.” 

“You were a computer programmer? Is that how you met Vince?”

“Yes. I have my doctorate from University of Southern California. I was a TA while I was working on my dissertation and Vince was one of my students, he came to my extra help session even though he didn’t really need it and finally when the class ended I asked him if he’d go out with me. He’s not very good with women and my cheating on him surely didn’t make things any easier for his psyche… he’s a good man, he’s just not the man for me. I’m big enough to say that and I hope he finds someone. I hope he learns how to get his head out of his own ass.” Sharon paused to look into her drink, “how about Fritz? Do you think he’s dating yet?”

Brenda shrugged, “probably. He hates being alone. He needs to be needed, he needs to take care of someone. I suppose he has the cat but he also needs someone to complain to about their unreliability…” 

They sipped their wine in silence. Brenda liked that they were drinking wine together, that it was an activity they were doing together. 

“Do you only date men?” Brenda asked. Sharon looked up at her in surprise and Brenda immediately regretted asking the question, she didn’t want to scare Sharon off. Her heart started pounding in her chest. 

“As opposed to what?” Sharon sat up a little straighter. 

“Women?”

“Do _you_ date women?” 

“I asked you first.” Brenda laughed nervously. 

Sharon shook her head, “no, I haven’t dated women, but…”

“But?” Brenda breathed, leaning forward in anticipation.

“But if I met the right woman I think I could.” Sharon held her breath. However Brenda reacted to that could change their relationship forever. 

Brenda’s heart sank, believing Sharon’s answer to mean she hadn’t met the right woman yet, which certainly let her out of the running. She nodded curtly. “I feel the same, she’d have to be the _right_ woman.” 

Sharon and Brenda both sipped their wine silently, stealing glances at one another every few minutes. 

“Do you want me to go?” Sharon turned to Brenda. 

Brenda turned to Sharon, “what? No, why would I want you to go?”

“I don’t know, you got silent.”

“Do you want to go?”

“I don’t know…” Sharon bit her lip and then laughed and dropped her face into her free hand. “What are we, teenagers?” 

Brenda laughed. “I was a lot more sure of myself when I was a teenager actually. I didn’t start being the wreck I am today until after my first divorce. I can’t believe I have to make that distinction… I thought if I got married again it would be forever… I thought the first marriage was going to be forever…” 

“Forever is relative.” Sharon took Brenda’s hand. “My marriage felt like it dragged on forever… I was really relieved when forever ended.” 

Brenda warmed at Sharon’s touch and she covered the brunette’s hand with her other one. “So, you start a new forever every couple of years? It sounds nice… sort of like, if you mess it up it’s okay because you have another forever to try again, but… it just goes against what my parents taught me. They were high school sweethearts, they’re still in love, they’ve been married for fifty years.” 

“Everybody’s different. Don’t despair.” 

“Sometimes it’s hard not to despair.” 

“I know.” Sharon lifted Brenda’s hand to her lips. 

“Hey, do me a favor?” Brenda whispered.

“Sure,” Sharon murmured. 

“Don’t come into my office on Monday and apologize for spending time with me. That made me feel like you didn’t enjoy yourself.” Brenda admitted, “and it was nice having you over.” 

“Whatever happened to us being enemies? When did we become friends?” Sharon teased, trying to gloss over her own overwhelming feelings. Her fingers played over Brenda’s knuckles. 

“I blame you entirely.” Brenda breathed. 

“Typical.” 

Brenda lifted her hand to touch Sharon’s face but dropped it to her lap. 

“It’s kind of late.” Sharon said after a long silence. “I would stay longer but I’m driving out to Palm Springs tomorrow.” 

“Of course. That sounds nice. Do you go often?” 

“I try to get out there every couple of months. Why don’t you come with me?” 

“Oh…” Brenda’s expression of shock was alarming enough to Sharon for her to quickly retract her invitation. 

“That was over the line, I’m sorry.” 

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Captain.” Brenda smiled, “didn’t I just ask you not to apologize for wanting to spend time with me? I was just… surprised… in a very pleasant way… I can’t really say that I’ve had an actual friend in a very long time.”

“So you’d like to come?”

“What time would you like me to be ready?” 

**

That Saturday was the first time Sharon would discover that in response to the question of what time she wanted Brenda to be ready, there should be at least a half hour to an hour long buffer. It had been Sharon’s intention to get on the road at ten and arrive just before noon for lunch. 

As Sharon sat on the freeway, in traffic, at 12:36, her stomach rumbled and groused about her only having eaten an orange and two cups of coffee for breakfast. Brenda was wearing one of the most ridiculous hats that Sharon had ever seen and spent the last fifteen minutes of the car ride slathering sun screen on her delicate fair skin. 

Despite being starved, slightly nauseous from the smell of aloe and completely bewildered at the idea of what the blonde’s thought process had to have been when she’d been out shopping for hats, she was very pleased that Brenda had come along. Despite the mountain of little annoyances that would normally have made Sharon very cross, she found herself smiling and reflecting affectionately on the younger woman. 

Sharon pulled her car up in front of a very posh looking restaurant and handed her keys to the valet. Brenda reached up to hold her hat in place as she marvelled at Sharon’s ability to walk into any situation like she owned the place. 

Brenda removed her hat and sunglasses and a tall sharply dressed man approached with a smile and he bent to hug Sharon. Sharon hugged him back, giving him a squeeze. “Xavier, I’d like you to meet my… friend, Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson.” Sharon smiled, remembering the awkward meet and greet she’d had with Brenda’s parents. “Brenda, this is Xavier, my son Rich’s partner.” 

“Oh, partner, like _partner_.” Brenda stuttered as she shook Xavier’s hand. 

“Don’t mind her. She’s from Georgia and they don’t have gay people in Georgia.” 

Brenda blushed. “Lord, you make me sound like some dumb hick. Please excuse my initial reaction, I was invited on a trip to Palm Springs and I was not made aware that I was going to be meeting Sharon’s family.”

“Oh, didn’t I mention that my son lives in Palm Springs?” Sharon furrowed her brow. 

“No. You did not.” 

“Well, ladies, I’ll go get Rich and we’ll get a table. Brenda, may I check your hat for you?” 

Brenda handed over the oversized straw hat and the expression that passed over Xavier’s face mirrored Sharon’s own when she’d first allowed herself a peripheral glance at the offending headwear. 

“Wait a minute, yes, I did. I’m sure of it.” Sharon insisted, “I told you last Friday.”

“Last Friday…” Brenda shook her head, remembering how wrecked she’d been after their binge drinking, “we consumed so much alcohol I think you shouldn’t expect me to remember anything you said to me last Friday.” 

“Well… I’m sorry that you didn’t remember my telling you that Rich lived in Palm Springs. Would you have said no if you’d known you’d meet Rich?”

Brenda considered this for a moment and shook her head. “No.”


	12. Chapter 12

“So Rich, how did you and Xavier meet?” Brenda asked, enjoying the fresh Caprese salad that had been ordered for her. When the waiter had approached the table, Rich had taken the liberty of ordering for everyone and she was surprised to note that it didn’t seem to make Sharon mad. 

“I’d just gotten out of school and I was looking for a chef’s gig and a mutual friend told me that Xavier was looking to start a restaurant and he needed a chef and… kismet, I guess.” Rich put his hand over Xavier’s, “before I met him I never even considered being with a man and since I’ve met him I can’t imagine my life without him.” 

Xavier and Rich smiled at each other. 

Brenda sipped her water. Suddenly entering into gay relationships was apparently something that was somewhat normal in their family so maybe she still stood a chance with Sharon. 

The waiter came back and removed the salad bowls, taking Brenda’s salad fork along with it. Another waiter replaced the salad with stuffed mushrooms and Brenda looked lost for a moment. Sharon reached under the plate and pulled into view the remaining fork. Brenda picked it up and began eating. 

Sharon took a bite and looked up. Brenda reached in front of her and grabbed the pepper to hand to the brunette. Dinner the night before had taught Brenda that Sharon had a preternatural love of pepper. Sharon accepted it, peppered her mushrooms and continued eating. 

After the mushrooms Brenda leaned into the table and asked, “do we have time before the next course? I’d like to visit the restroom.” 

“Of course,” Xavier nodded, “the bathroom is just up this hallway on the left.” 

“Thank you.” Brenda excused herself. 

Rich and Xavier watched her disappear down the hallway and then turn surprised expressions on Sharon. Sharon quirked an eyebrow, “what?”

“Brenda?”

“What about her?” 

“Don’t get me wrong, mom, I love her. She’s sharp and pretty and she seems smart.”

“And she has a good sense of humor when it comes to hats.” Xavier added.

“But isn’t she… a little too… _Mayberry_ for you?” Rich asked. When Sharon rolled her eyes he continued, “don’t get me wrong, mom, I think she’ll be good for you. I think you couldn’t date anyone more opposite from dad so that should be good but do you think-”

“Date?” Sharon repeated. “We’re not dating.” 

“Could’ve fooled me.” Xavier snorted, “you tease each other, finish each other’s sentences. She passed you the pepper before you even asked for it.” 

“And you know how I try and hide the pepper from you. The mushrooms had pepper on them, mom.”

“Not the thing we’re focusing on right now, Richie. You made peace with your mother and her peppering, remember?” Xavier said pointedly. 

“Whether you like it or not, you’re dating Brenda. You’ve brought her here on a date.” 

“Shut up, she’s coming back.”

“Even the bathroom was beautiful,” Brenda smiled, “how long have you been in business?”

“Going on ten years.” Rich answered. 

“Well, I’m impressed but not surprised. If you got even half of your mother’s tenacity you’ll be good as gold.” 

“Oh stop.” Sharon playfully pushed Brenda.

Lunch was grilled red snapper with black eyed peas and sauteed vegetables. Brenda thought that the black eyed peas might be even better than Willie Rae’s – a fact she would never share with her mother, there were just somethings a mother didn’t need to know. Dessert was a light strawberry gelato made in house, which Brenda enjoyed but thought it was perhaps a bit too healthy for dessert and probably wouldn’t seek it out on her own. All-in-all, Brenda was very impressed and very glad that Sharon had asked her along. 

Sharon finished the last scoop of her gelato, set down the fork and asked, “so Rich, do you think you’ll be able to come over for Reese’s birthday?”

“When is it again?”

“August 12th.” Sharon said, “like it is every year when you ask me.” 

Brenda sensed the change in the air between mother and son as Sharon brought up Reese and Rich stiffened. Xavier looked at the blond, “would you like a tour of the facilities?”

“Thank you, I’d love one.” Brenda stood, gave Sharon’s shoulder a quick squeeze and Brenda and Xavier took off. 

“I wish you hadn’t brought Reese up in front of everyone.” Rich scowled. 

“In front of _everyone_? _Xavier and Chief Johnson_ are everyone?” Sharon laughed ironically. “I didn’t get on the loud speaker and announce it to the whole restaurant. I didn’t even say that he was in prison.”

“Keep your voice down!” 

“I didn’t raise my voice, Rich, and I won’t whisper.” Sharon pursed her lips. “He’s your _brother_.”

“No, he’s _your_ mistake.”

“Oh… Rich… that was an awful thing to say… I am going to pretend you didn’t say that.”

“No. Don’t pretend I didn’t say it because I meant it.” Rich folded his arms across his chest. “I’m not going to come for his birthday this year just like I didn’t make it to his last six. I was _sixteen_ when he was born, mom. Paul and Amelia and I don’t even know him how can you expect us to have the same bond with him that we have with each other?”

“I don’t, but I expect you to care enough about your family to come and celebrate a milestone in your brother’s life.” 

“Awfully hypocritical of you to get preachy about bringing the family together. The fact that we’re not all coming together in celebration of Reese’s birthday is all my fault for not wanting to go? It’s not even a little bit your fault for having an affair and divorcing dad?”

“Your father divorced _me_.”

“Give me a break. The man can’t function on his own. You wanted out and you gave him permission to divorce you.” Rich explained coolly. He took in Sharon’s slightly angry, slightly hurt expression and added, “hey, don’t get me wrong. I love you and I would do anything for you but that doesn’t mean I don’t think you made a few shitty choices.” 

“You’re entirely right. The last decade has been a mountain of shitty choices that have landed me pretty much nowhere in my life but I’m trying to do something about that now. I can’t go back but I’m going to go forward in a much more positive way. I’m going to stop accepting all the blame for the divorce and I’m going to move on with my life.”

Rich nodded. “With Brenda.”

“With Br- _no_ ,” Sharon narrowed her eyes. 

“Mom, I am telling you. Listen to reason, would you? You are both clearly smitten with each other.” 

“Richie, I’m not going to argue with you.” 

“It’s funny when you call me Richie because you only do it when you’re trying to be stern but you want to cushion the blow with an affectionate name.” He smirked, “kind of like if I called you mommy right before I told you we were out of pepper.” 

She reached across the table and playfully smacked him in the arm. “So fresh with your mother.” 

“Tell you what… would it mollify you a little if I sent him a card?” 

Sharon nodded, “I know when to pick my battles. Yes, it’s a fair compromise.” She dug around in her purse for a writing utensil for the address. 

Xavier and Brenda returned. “Is the catfight over? My money was on Sharon. Who won?”

“Who do you think?” Rich nodded at his mother. 

“It wasn’t a competition.” Sharon pulled the sheet of paper out of her notebook. “You don’t have to go overboard, just a few lines that he can read, maybe something with a picture that he’d like to put up. And if you felt so inclined you could send him a book.” 

Rich accepted the paper. “She’s such a gracious winner.” 

Sharon stood. She cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead, “you’re a good boy, Rich.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

**

June ended, July came and went and August began in earnest. Every Friday Sharon drove out to see Reese and then spent most of the night with Brenda. Sometimes their Friday nights turned into Saturday morning but not every time and Brenda was realizing that she was happy enough to spend forever with Sharon just like that. 

The team picked up on the return of Brenda’s good mood but had no reason to suspect it had anything to do with the wicked witch. Provenza and Flynn assumed that it was the natural progression of the weight of the divorce lifting from her shoulders. 

Even Sharon was starting to feel as though the world wasn’t a giant shithole that was hellbent on making her life as difficult as possible. 

When Sharon arrived at the prison she’d handed over the birthday presents to the guards for the obligatory inspection and when she sat down on the other side of the glass the box was sitting in front of Reese. 

Sharon picked up the phone and put it to her ear with a smile, “you can open it, it is for you.” 

Reese opened the box and pulled out the first thing that caught his eye. “Carton of cigarettes? Really, ma?”

“Don’t look at me like that, I don’t want you to smoke them or anything,” Sharon rolled her eyes playfully, “figured you could trade them for things.”

Reese nodded, “it’s just funny. Never thought I’d ever see the day you’d buy cigs. Like, I remember the time you caught Amelia smoking and you gave her so much hell and the two of you didn’t talk for two weeks.” 

Sharon remembered that particular time in her life and didn’t look on it fondly. It was a time in her life that she had had her priorities all wrong. 

“Keep going, there’s more.” Sharon nodded toward the box. 

Reese pulled out a small handful of phone cards, then a set of notebooks and pens that were accompanied by a box of envelopes and a roll of forever stamps, there was a set of books of various genres and lastly a copy of Maxim magazine. 

He picked it up and gave Sharon an incredulous look, “you went up to a magazine counter holding this and didn’t die of embarrassment?” 

She waved him off, “that’s from your father. He got you a subscription but it won’t start for a month or two so he got you this month’s issue.” 

“Dad got it for me?” He pulled out the gift subscription card and held it up, “his handwriting’s getting a lot neater and less girly.” 

“Don’t be a wise ass. Fine. It’s from me.” 

“Thanks.” Reese said sincerely as he put the things back in the box. “Have you talked to dad?”

Sharon faltered. She neither wanted to lie nor tell him the truth. She shook her head, “your father… he’s just having a hard time with this.” 

“What’s the saying? In a crisis you find out who your friends really are?” He asked and Sharon nodded a little, “that’s it then. You’re the only one who cares about me.” 

“That’s not true.” She put her hand against the plexi. She shook her head adamantly, “I know that… sometimes it’s hard not to despair but… it’ll get better. I promise.” 

“If you talk to dad… you can tell him… that I get it. Like, if he thinks he can’t come now ‘cause it took him so long, just tell him… I’m not mad, I just want to see him.” Reese looked down and studied a speck on the counter to avoid looking at Sharon. 

“I’ll talk to him.” Sharon agreed. She’d been avoiding him, save for the voicemail she’d left him to ask him to get Reese something for his birthday two weeks prior. 

**

Sharon opened the door and got into the driver’s seat. Brenda set her book down on her lap and took off her glasses. “Did you have a nice visit?”

“Bittersweet.” Sharon answered honestly. “Mind if we swing by Vince’s before we go to dinner?” 

“That’s fine.” 

Sharon put the car into drive and pulled out of her spot. “It’s been almost four months and Vince hasn’t come to see him. That’s ridiculous, right? If your brother was in prison would your father visit him?”

Brenda nodded, “he’d have to be prepared for the lecture to end all lectures but I think my daddy would visit.” She considered this for a moment, “but he was an officer. My mother but have a harder time. I don’t know if my mother could do it.” 

Brenda studied Sharon’s face for a few long moments. “Are you sure this is the best idea? Going to see Vince?”

“I’m just tired of him acting like a child. It’s hurting Reese and that’s just not fair. I should be able to walk away, to throw in the towel and never look back but it’s just not the easy… I had kids with him and his actions still affect them. I still have the right to give him a piece of my mind when it comes to the psychological well-being of my children.” 

“Maybe you should do it tomorrow? When you’re not so keyed up.” 

“Brenda,” Sharon reached over and took the blonde’s hand. “I hear you and I do feel that you’re right but, respectfully, I’m going to ignore your very good advice.” 

Brenda gave her hand a gentle squeeze, “as long as you leave your revolver with me.”


	13. Chapter 13

As Sharon pulled up to the house another car pulled up alongside. She stepped out of the car apprehensively when a young delivery boy got out of the other car. 

“Hey, kid,” Sharon pulled her wallet out of her purse, “what’s the total?” 

“Thirty-two eighteen.” 

Sharon pulled out a couple of twenties and a five and exchanged them for the food. “Keep the change, stay out of trouble.” 

Sharon opened the driver’s and handed Brenda the food. “Dinner?”

“You’re naughty.” Brenda grinned, “taking the man’s dinner.” 

“Oh honey, you haven’t even seen me be naughty.” Sharon purred. 

Brenda blushed and couldn’t help the images that started to bombard her at the thought of Sharon being naughty. She held back the urge to tell her that she’d love to see it and if they could agree on a time when that would be possible, that would be great. Instead she busied herself opening the bag of food.

“Unless he’s had a complete life change that should be an order of crab rangoon, chicken terriyaki, house fried rice and half a peking duck.” 

“I’m just going to have one ragoon and I’ll save the rest for when you get back. Stay strong.” Sharon turned to leave and Brenda called out to Sharon. “Revolver.” 

“Are you serious?” Sharon asked incredulously. 

“Yes, I’m serious, Captain! If you go in there and things get ugly and you discharge your weapon we’re gonna have FID tromping all around out here and I’m going to have to give statements and talk to that _dreadful_ Sergeant Elliot and you know how much I _hate_ FID, Captain. So, if you please?” She held out her hand. 

Sharon rolled her eyes, and pulled her piece from her purse. “I’ll be ten minutes.” She removed the clip and handed both pieces over to Brenda. 

“Good luck.” Brenda said as she crunched into a crab rangoon. 

Sharon walked up to the front door and rang the bell. “Just a sec!” Vince called out from the other side, “how much do I…” as he opened the door and saw Sharon his voice trailed off. 

“How much do you owe me?” Sharon deadpanned, “funny you should ask. I came over to discuss the things that you _owe_.”

“For Christ’s sake, Sharon, do you ever give up?” Vince rolled his eyes. 

“I’m not here for me. You owe me nothing and I owe you nothing. The person that you do owe is Reese. You owe him an explanation of why you haven’t visited him and why you missed his birthday.”

“He’s in fucking prison!” Vince snapped. “What the fuck do you want from me? That’s something you want me to reinforce?”

“He didn’t do anything. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Do you even know that? I don’t even know him anymore and you certainly haven’t been around to get to know him.” He scoffed, “and I think it’s really fucking rich that you’re on my case about not showing up to shit because you’re the queen of forgotten birthdays and absentee parenting. Then as soon as I do it it’s a mother fucking federal offence. I think you’re full of shit, Sharon. I think you’re a self-righteous bitch who can’t see anything clearly anymore because you’ve had your head up your ass for so long.” 

“I didn’t come here to fight with you-”

“You’re going to start spewing the high road shit at me now?”

Sharon ignored him and continued, “- I came here because I just left our son and he asked me to tell you that he _gets it_ and he just wants to see you and he doesn’t need you to explain why, he just wants to see you. I came here because it breaks my heart every time I see that look on his face, every time he asks me if I’ve heard from you.” 

“And you’re the fixer, right? None of us can do anything without you?” 

“You can do whatever you want with your life but even if we’re not husband and wife anymore we’re still mother and father and we still have obligations to our kids and we’re still entitled to be upset at each other when one of us is doing a shitty job. I’m perfectly willing to admit that I’ve been going about being a divorced mother all wrong but I’m working to make it up to Reese. He’s a really good kid, somehow despite all of _our_ shit we managed to raise a really wonderful kid. He… just wants you to _show up_.” 

“Who the fuck is that?” Vince demanded, looking past Sharon at Brenda in the passenger seat of Sharon’s car. 

“Oh her? That’s Deputy Chief Not What We’re Talking About Right Now.” Sharon smirked, “we go way back, her and I and Captain Let’s Try to Stay on Topic for Once.” 

“You wonder why all of our kids are wise asses it’s because you can’t even have one single conversation without putting someone down. Whether you’re martyring yourself of lecturing it’s always about you, everything’s about you!” 

“This is about _Reese_.” She spat. 

“You say that but here _you_ are.” Vince gripped the door, preparing to step back and slam the door in his ex-wife’s face. 

She reached out and shoved her hands against the door to stop it from shutting. “Damnit to hell, Sharon,” Vince yelled in protest and lashed out, ramming his forearm into her wrists. She hissed in pain and jumped back and the door slammed. 

Brenda jumped out of the car, “Captain, are you alright?” 

Sharon banged her fists against the door and screamed, “that’s assaulting a police officer, I could arrest you right now! Then you two could be cellmates!” 

Brenda wrapped her arms around Sharon’s waist and pulled her back against her own body. Sharon stilled at the contact, stunned and comforted by her warmth. One arm still around her waist, Brenda reached up and stroked Sharon’s hair soothingly. 

Sharon slipped her eyes shut and relaxed into the touch. 

“Come on, let’s get you home.” Brenda whispered. 

**

Sharon was roused awake at three by the ringing of her cell phone. She looked at the clock and groaned and stretched out on her bed. She felt tied up in knots and the frustration she felt was almost overwhelming. Frustration at Vince for being an immovable asshat and an entirely different kind of frustration concerning Brenda. 

It took her a few long, dazed moments to realize that the reason she’d awoken was the ringing phone. She put it to her ear and croaked out a, “Captain Raydor…”

**

Sharon’s heels clanged off the cement floor and echoed off the grey walls. A chattering night prison guard hurried to keep up with her. 

“Usually we don’t let parents in to the sick bay but we made an exception for you.”

“Yes, thank you.” Sharon said impatiently as she continued without missing a beat. 

“Since we’re on the same side and all. Yessiree, us law enforcement has to stick together. Otherwise that’s how the bad guys win, you know?”

Sharon rolled her eyes. 

They reached the outer door to the sick bay where Officer Us Law Enforcement had to unlock the door. He put his key in the lock and turned it but didn’t open the door. “I didn’t have to let you in, it being so late and all and you not bein’ here on official business or anything.”

“I am very grateful.” Sharon husked in a low tone full of sleep and menace. 

“How grateful?” He grinned lecherously, moving slightly to block the door. 

Sharon leaned a little closer and said in a soft voice, “grateful enough to let you walk away with all of your limbs unbroken and maybe I won’t lodge a formal complaint with the warden. Once again, thank you for escorting me but I believe I can take it from here, hm?” 

“Yes, ma’am.” He stepped back, clutching his keys. “You just call down to the front desk if you need an escort back…” 

“Thank you.” She pulled open the door and saw him speed off out of her peripheral. Ordinarily it gave her great pleasure to strike fear into uppity morons but tonight she had other, much more pressing, things to worry about. 

“Mom!” Reese cried from the bed. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Sharon dropped her purse by the bedside and sat down on the edge to pull her son into a tight hug. It was the first time they’d seen each other without half a foot of plastic separating them since their return to each other’s good graces and Sharon was overwhelmed with being able to hug him again. 

She held him tightly, laying her head against his soft black hair, his face buried in her brunette waves, trying to draw as much comfort from her as possible. She felt her eyes well up and she kissed his temple. “I’ve got you,” she cooed, stroking his head. “I’m here.”


	14. Chapter 14

“Guard brought him up here because he was having a panic attack.” The night nurse said from the foot of the bed. 

It was clear to Sharon, from the bruises on Reese’s torso in various stages of healing, that there were other reasons he would warrant a trip to sick bay. But maybe in prison those bruises weren’t enough. They were certainly enough to Sharon. 

It was all _enough_. She’d had enough.

“What happened, baby?” Sharon asked gently. 

“I’m not tough. I don’t want to be tough. I just want to get out of here.” Reese’s voice trembled as he began to cry despite all of his best efforts. 

Sharon held him protectively. She looked to the nurse, “could you give us a few minutes?”

“It’s against regulation.” The nurse folded her arms across her chest. 

Sharon pulled a twenty from her purse, “the night shift must get long and tiring, why don’t you get yourself a coffee? On me.”

“Make if fifty.” 

Sharon dug into her wallet, “here’s sixty.” 

The nurse grabbed the cash from Sharon, shoved it into her bra, “you have ten minutes.” She pulled the curtain closed as she left. 

Sharon grabbed a tissue from the bedside table and wiped Reese’s cheeks. He didn’t fuss or protest, as he would have under any other circumstances, he just let his mother take care of him. When she showed up, and there were about five years when she didn’t, she was very good at taking care. 

She held his face as she looked into his eyes, “First thing in the morning I’m going to talk to Eli and see how the appeal is coming along. If you’re granted an appeal, the judge will probably allow you out in my custody.” 

He nodded, “okay.” 

She kissed his forehead. “Everything will be okay,” she cooed. 

**

Eli offered Sharon a seat but understood when she decided she’d rather stand. “I just started going over the case notes, actually, and I think we’ve got a very good case for an appeal.”

“Oh?” Sharon asked, trying not to give away her excitement for what he’d just said. 

Eli nodded, “I was reading the transcript of the interview and I’ve asked for a copy of the video. I think that the best angle for us to play if Chief Johnson.”

“I don’t… what do you mean?” Sharon narrowed her eyes. 

“Chief Johnson’s bias against you is perfectly clear from her own notes and from her report and there’s video of her yelling at you and then Reese insulted her which she didn’t take particularly well.”

“I…” Sharon stopped pacing and sat down across from Eli. She spread her fingers out on the table, trying to choose her words carefully, “Deputy Chief Johnson and I have reached an understanding. We have an… equilibrium.” 

“Have you _read_ her report?”

“Look, Eli, Chief Johnson and I were both very different people six months ago.” Sharon shook her head. 

“Just think about it. I’m not accepting any answer tonight. Sleep on it. The choice is the woman who you couldn’t stand – and who couldn’t stand you – six months ago and your _son_.” Eli said slowly. “Get back to me tomorrow. Think about what I just said and make the _only_ decision.” 

Sharon scowled and stood up. She held out her hand, “Eli, it’s always a pleasure.” 

“I’m going to call you tomorrow so you can okay this motion.” 

“I respect you very much, but I’m telling you right now that my decision tomorrow isn’t going to be different.” Sharon slung her purse over her shoulder. “I hope you’re working on an alternate defense.”

**

Brenda opened the door for Sharon. She stepped inside and pulled a back of hershey’s kisses out of her purse. “I didn’t feel like wine tonight. Is this okay?” 

“Have you met me?” Brenda chuckled, accepting the bag and beckoning Sharon into the kitchen where she had Chinese food waiting for them in boxes at their places at the table. 

Sharon sat and opened her box and dumped the contents onto her plate. 

“How’s Reese doin’?” 

Sharon looked up from her moo shoo chicken and shrugged. “Officially they sent him to the sick bay because he had a panic attack but he had a lot of bruises. He’s not doing very well… up until yesterday I don’t think he felt confident enough to speak candidly. I’m afraid for him… Fortunately since I’m IA and they don’t put cops in genpop there’s no one there with a grudge against me but he’s not a tough guy, he’s an academic.” 

Brenda took Sharon’s free hand in her own and brought it up to her lips. 

Sharon appreciated that Brenda didn’t feel the social obligation to spout truisms. She was just sincerely interested and sincerely sweet. 

After dinner they retired to the couch with the bag of Hershey’s. Sharon ate one and then leaned back against the couch and stared up at the ceiling. Brenda waited for Sharon to say what was on her mind. 

“Reese’s lawyer wants me to use our previously disharmonious relationship to argue that you went after Reese overly vigorously which resulted in the gathering of extra circumstantial evidence.”

Brenda took that in, mulling it over in her mind for a few silent moments. “You should.” She said softly, “I did.” 

“I know,” Sharon threaded her fingers through Brenda’s. 

“I went after him because I hated everything that was happening in my life. I hated that I was getting divorced, I hated that I had to be dealing with you and… part of me wanted to hurt you.” 

“I _know_.” Sharon nodded, “I’ve been there, too. You don’t owe me anything. All the good things I have in my life right now are because of you. I have a relationship with Reese again, I’ve let go of my need to protect Vince… I have somewhere to come when I’m upset, someone to share meals and evenings with. ” 

“And if you use me you’ll have all of those things _and_ Reese would be out of prison.” 

“Calling your conduct into question could hurt you and I just won’t do that.” Sharon said forcefully. 

Brenda nodded slowly, knowing that at this point Sharon’s mind was already made up. She said softly, “if you did, though, I wouldn’t hold it against you.”

Sharon smiled, “I know,” she reached up to touch Brenda’s cheek. Brenda leaned into the touch, tilting her head to nuzzle the soft palm. Sharon scooted closer on the couch and cupped Brenda’s cheek, brushing her thumb over the blonde’s cheekbone. “Brenda Leigh Johnson, I’d be lost without you.” 

Brenda closed her eyes, not wanting to reveal that Sharon’s words brought tears to her eyes. The sheer weight of hearing her name from those perfect lips was enough to floor her, combined with the sentiment that followed it was almost too much to bear. She knew in that moment that at some point in the last six months she had fallen in love with Sharon Raydor and she’d be just as lost without the brunette. 

Brenda laid her hand over Sharon’s, wanting to maintain the contact for as long as possible. Sharon leaned in and pressed a kiss to Brenda’s cheek and then another one to the corner of Brenda’s lips and then leaned her forehead against Brenda’s and closed her eyes. 

Brenda wrapped her arms around Sharon, pulling her close. Sharon wrapped one arm around Brenda’s shoulders and plunged her fingers into Brenda’s soft waves. Brenda let her head fall to rest on Sharon’s shoulder. 

In the morning when Brenda’s cell phone woke them up, Brenda lifted her head from the nape of Sharon’s neck where it had come to rest. Rubbing her eyes and getting her bearings, she was horrified to realize that she’d drooled on Sharon. 

At about the same moment Sharon realized that Brenda had drooled on her. Looking down at her chest and wiping it away from her skin.

“Chief Johnson,” Brenda said into the phone and mouthed to Sharon ‘I am so sorry,’ then returned her attention to the phone call. “How many dead? Alright, yes, I’ll be there in a half hour. Make sure CSU secures the scene but doesn’t remove anything until I get there.” 

Sharon stretched and stood up, gathering her things. 

“I need a shower,” Brenda announced, shoving her cell phone into her oversized purse. “Do you want to take a shower? I seem to have gotten you all wet. I mean-” Brenda blushed bright red. “I mean, I drooled all over your…” she gestured toward Sharon’s chest where the drool had saturated the camisole. 

Sharon reached up to still Brenda’s hand. She laughed, “I’ll shower when I get home and stop worrying.” She gave Brenda’s hand a squeeze, “go take your shower, I can let myself out and I’ll see you soon.” 

“Promise?”

“Promise.” Sharon smiled, she kissed Brenda’s hand. “I’ll call you later.” 

Brenda blushed like a schoolgirl and sashayed toward the bathroom. Sharon seemed to bringing out the woman in her, not just the cop; it felt good to feel like a woman again. Sharon lingered to watch Brenda’s retreating form and swinging hips as she disappeared into the other room. 

As the hot water cascaded off of her curves she found her mind wandering back to the Captain, the feel of her curves under her cheek. She was determined to get through her shower and get to her crime scene without allowing thoughts of Sharon and her luscious hour-glass figure to deter her. 

**

A couple hours later, showered, dressed and fed, Sharon was on her way to Eli Mitchell’s office. She was more determined than ever to turn down his proposal of using Brenda as a means to an end. Her phone rang and she put it to her ear, “Captain Raydor.” 

“Sharon, hey, it’s Jeff.” 

“Jeff?” She asked with confusion, pulling the phone away from her ear to look at the caller id. “Are you okay? Did something happen to Maureen or Timmy?” 

“No, Sharon…” there was a pause, “it’s about Reese… how fast can you get down here?”


	15. Chapter 15

Sharon burst through the doors and was beelining for the swinging doors to the OR when Jeff caught her around the middle, “Sharon, come on, he’s in surgery, there’s nothing you can do right now.” 

“I need to see my son, goddamnit,” Sharon cried, fighting against Jeff. 

“It’s going to be okay, Sharon,” Jeff said soothingly. “I called you because we have a history but I need you to calm down for a minute and talk to some people.” 

“If it’s not a doctor who can tell me that Reese is okay, I’m not interested.” 

“It’s not a doctor, but it is about Reese’s life. Come with me,” Jeff let Sharon go slowly. Sharon straightened her jacket, intrigued by what he’d just said, and followed him down the corridor to a secured room. 

Sharon stood vis-à-vis with two stone-faced men. One of them spoke while the other stood statue still. “Ordinarily you wouldn’t be invited to be privy to the information that we’re about to share with you but Mr. Locke insisted that you be notified.” 

“Tell me what’s going on.” Sharon demanded stiffly. 

“We’ve been trying to figure out how the White Supremacists have been communicating between the inside and the outside.” 

“Tell me right now what this has to do with Reese.” Sharon snapped. 

“Sharon, calm down.” Jeff put a hand on her arm. 

Sharon shrugged him off, “no, I’m sick to death of calming down. I’m mad as hell and I don’t want to be kept out of the loop anymore. What does this have to do with my son?” She demanded slowly, in a low warning tone. 

“While inside, Mr. Delahunt was able to learn a great deal about the infrastructure of their organization. He learned so much that they tried to… eliminate him…” The first agent faltered when he looked Sharon in the eye and had to tell her that someone had tried to murder her son. 

Jeff put a hand on Sharon’s arm, “a guard interrupted the attack so his wounds are relatively superficial. The doctors expect him to make a full recovery. He’s still in the OR now.”

“His testimony is going to be a real boon to us and, of course, he’ll be well protected through our office.” 

Sharon nodded, taking the information in. “Vince technically has full custody but I think that I should be the one to go with him. He was most recently remanded to my custody so-”

“Sharon, Sharon…” Jeff shook his head, “Reese turned eighteen, he has to go alone.” 

Sharon felt her resolve cracking. She grabbed for the chair in front of her and sank down into it. “Why are you telling me all of this if there’s nothing I can do?”

The agents exchanged glances, clearly having wondered why they were sharing with Sharon as well. Jeff didn’t look to them for permission to continue. “I asked that you be involved out of professional courtesy. The DA’s office agreed with me that it was fair to inform you.” 

“Can I see him before he has to leave?” Sharon looked up at the agents. Each looked averted her gaze. Cowards. She looked to Jeff. “Will I see him before they take him?”

Jeff shook his head and looked down. “No, they’re going to bus him to a safe place. The Post-op icu is too exposed. _But_ you can watch the surgery from the observation room.” 

**

“Hi Captain…” Brenda faltered, “you know, I don’t think I ever got your voicemail before… I kinda thought we were doing something tonight… I hope everythin’s okay. I’ll talk to you soon.” 

**

Sharon was sick to her stomach. As she looked through the glass at her son and the doctors trying to repair his body she just plain felt sick. She tried not to live in the past or to obsess over the things that she had no control over, but she felt sick that she’d waited so long to take an interest, that her other children never bonded with him and that Vince hadn’t ever visited him in prison. 

Why had nothing worked out very well for Reese? Why had his family failed him at every possible turn? Maybe he was better off leaving it all behind, maybe it was a blessing. 

Sharon blinked wet eyes but she was done crying. She pulled out her notebook and a pen and started to write. She would probably never get to speak with her son again but he was going to know how much she loved him and all the good things she wanted for him. 

By the time he was wheeled out of the operating room Sharon was still frozen to the spot. One of the agents opened the door, “I was wondering if you were still here.” 

“I don’t think my legs work anymore.” 

“Look… It wasn’t my idea to bring you in on this… I think it was a pretty bad idea… but I’m not without sympathy for your situation. I have kids and I can’t even imagine what you’re going through.” 

“Will you give this to him for me?” Sharon held up the lengthy note that she’d written. “I didn’t use any names or dates or identifying landmarks. I’m a cop, too, I understand that you’re just doing your job.” 

He accepted the paper, “yeah, sure.” He walked over to the door, “after you.”

Sharon stepped out into the hallway and fell into step with the agent, “Reese’s father… can I tell him? I think it should come from me. If he has to hear that Reese… is dead,” true or not, she didn’t like the sound of the words, “it should be me.” 

“You realize that you’d be jeopardizing your son’s safety if you tell anyone what really happened?”

“I just don’t want some cop who’s never met my son to deliver the news. Let me do it.” 

He nodded curtly, “fine.” 

She looked up to realize that the agent had walked her to the front exit. Taking the hint she strode out of the hospital and into the dusk. She’d started out the morning with such elation… it had already been such a long day but it was far from over. 

**

“I’m comin’!” Brenda called out as she leapt up from her dining room chair. “Ow! Lord in heaven…” she cursed under her breath when she tripped over her coffee table. She opened the door and smiled happily, “I wasn’t sure if I’d see you tonight. I already ate, I’m afraid. But I could find you something or we could order out…” her voice trailed off as she studied Sharon’s face. “Captain, were you crying?”

“That obvious?”

Brenda shrugged, “I don’t think anyone else would notice. I just see that your foundation is all gone and if it had had streaks in it you would have wiped it off.”

“You should be a detective.” 

Brenda smiled, “do you want to come in?” 

“Would you come with me, actually?” Sharon’s voice faltered a little. “I… I have to…” 

Sharon’s resolve crumbled as she looked down at their feet, wanting to look anywhere except into Brenda’s eyes. “I… oh god,” Sharon’s floodgates opened as the tears began to fall, she took a small step forward and fell into Brenda’s arms. 

Brenda wrapped her arms around Sharon, holding her like she never wanted to let her go. “What happened?” She asked breathily, afraid of the answer. 

“He’s gone. My baby is gone,” Sharon turned her head and buried her face in Brenda’s hair. “He’s gone and I’ll never see him again.” 

Brenda held Sharon tightly against her, squeezing her tightly. Sharon struggled to pull herself back together, she still had to tell Vince and she intended to be strong. She’d always been the strong one. 

“Come inside, I’ll get you something to eat.” 

Sharon pulled back a little, her forehead resting against Brenda’s temple. “I have to go tell Vince. Will you come with me?” 

“Of course I will.” Brenda insisted, “I’d go anywhere with you.” Brenda admitted softly. 

Sharon smiled genuinely. She reached up and brushed Brenda’s cheek softly. Brenda shivered and let her eyes flutter shut. Sharon pressed a soft kiss to Brenda’s cheek. “Thank you.” She whispered. 

**

The last time Brenda had been sitting in a car in the driveway to Sharon’s former home the car had smelled like chinese food and Sharon had been livid. Now, as she sat behind the wheel, Sharon was steeling herself to deliver the worst news she’d ever had to give. 

Parents aren’t supposed to outlive their children. Even if he wasn’t really dead, Vince was going to be devastated. Sharon was devastated and she knew the truth, she’d been there with him for the past six terrible months. 

Sharon walked up to the door and Brenda lingered a few steps behind her. She suddenly felt like she wasn’t supposed to be there; she felt like she was intruding. Brenda felt tethered to Sharon, felt protective of her. After the last time, how the situation had deteriorated into screaming and door slamming, she felt like she ought to be ready with her service revolver should it be necessary. 

“What are you doing here?” Vince demanded, yanking open the door. “Do I have to get a goddamn restraining order?” 

“This will be the last time I come here-” 

“I’ve heard that before.”

“Will you just shut up and let me finish?” Sharon snapped, tears springing to her eyes, “Reese is gone. He’s dead.”

“What?” 

“This morning… he was stabbed.” 

“No…” Vince took a step backwards and bumped into the side table. He was fighting, with everything he had, to contain his emotions. “ _No_!”

“Vince,” Sharon reached out for him, stepping forward. Vince lashed out at her and ended up knocking himself backwards, landing on his ass. 

“Don’t touch me.” Vince sobbed. 

“Let me get you a glass of water.” Sharon tried to step into the house. 

“No! Stop! Just stop…” Vince held out his hands to halt her. Sharon stopped and Brenda stepped nearer to her. He put his head in his hands, “how did this happen?”

“Come on, Vince,” Sharon said soothingly, starting to crouch down next to him, reaching out a tentative hand for his shoulder. 

“I can’t believe… our baby…” He turned and fell into Sharon, nearly knocking her down in the process. “Sharon… our baby…” 

Sharon stroked his hair soothingly. Brenda admired her strength and her need to protect Vince despite the ill-feelings between them. Sharon held him for a few minutes while he cried and when he stopped, she calmly discussed the funeral arrangements. He nodded mechanically, happy for her to deal with it herself. 

Brenda and Sharon ended up at 24-hour diner where Sharon pushed pancakes around on her plate. “I don’t know why I ordered these…” she said as she looked down at her plate. 

Brenda reached across the table and put her hand on Sharon’s, “you should eat something. That is an order, Captain.”

Sharon smiled at Brenda, “since you put it that way.” 

“It’ll be hard for a while,” Brenda started, “when my grandmother died I was devastated. I’ve never lost a child, I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” 

Sharon nodded, “he’s going to a better place. I’m mostly sad that Vince and I never managed to give him the life that he deserved. I’m sad that I’ll never get to see him grow into a man. I hope that he was happy enough… I hope that he truly forgave me for being so negligent. I didn’t deserve to be forgiven but I hope that he knew that I loved him.” 

“I’m sure he did.” Brenda nodded, “when someone’s in your good graces it’s hard to not know that you love them.” 

Brenda and Sharon shared an affectionate smile. 

“Why don’t we box up your pancakes and I’ll take you home?” 

“Would you mind terribly if I stayed with you tonight?” Sharon asked, pushing her food around. 

“Of course you can stay with me. You can stay with me as long as you like.” 

That night they shared Brenda’s bed. Normally they fell asleep on the couch “by accident” and intentionally going to sleep together was new, exhilarating and terrifying. 

“Do you have a side preference?” Brenda asked, looking at the bed that seemed tiny all of a sudden. 

Teeth freshly brushed and stripped down to a camisole and a pair of boy shorts, Sharon looked at the bed and shook her head, “no.” 

“Okay, you get comfortable, I’ll be right back.” Brenda went into the bathroom to floss, she’d been too embarrassed to do it in front of Sharon. When she got back into the bedroom Sharon had curled up in the middle of the bed. 

Sharon was already dozing when Brenda climbed in behind her and pressed against her back. “You don’t have a side preference because you like the _middle_.” Brenda whispered. 

Sharon smiled and took one of Brenda’s hands, threading their fingers together. “Vince always said I was impossible to sleep with. Should’ve warned you before you said I could sleep with you.” 

With her free hand, Brenda brushed hair away from Sharon’s neck. “I still would have said yes.” A shiver ran down Sharon’s spine as Brenda’s breath tickled the sensitive skin behind her ear. Brenda bit her lip and listened to Sharon’s shallow breaths for a moment before boldly placing a soft kiss to Sharon’s shoulder. 

Sharon’s eyes fluttered shut and she gave Brenda’s hand a squeeze. “That felt nice.” 

“Sweet dreams, Captain,” Brenda said softly, “the worst of it is over.” 

“I hope so.” Sharon tightened her hold on Brenda, drawing from her. “I can’t imagine it won’t get better from here. Thank you so much, for everything.” 

“My pleasure.” Brenda murmured. She had Sharon exactly where she’d wanted her for so long but it wasn’t the right time to make a move on Sharon and it was just as well because she hadn’t screwed up the courage yet. 

**

“Hey ma,” Rich came up behind Sharon, crossing around to her front and she reached up to hug him. “I’m really sorry about Reese.” 

“Thank you, Rich.” Sharon gave him a squeeze and then hugged Xavier. “I’m glad you were able to come.” 

“Mom!” Paul entered the room and wrapped his arms around his mother, “how are you holding up?”

“Better than your father.” Sharon kissed Paul’s cheek, “it’ll do him good to see you, though.” 

“Hey,” Amelia waved from the doorway. Sharon was stunned to see her daughter standing there. Amelia looked to her brothers, “hey boys, can we have a minute?”

“Sure,” Paul nodded, giving his twin a pat on the back on his way out. 

“I, um…” Amelia paused, “I’m… sorry.” 

Sharon’s eyes welled up with tears, “you have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart.” 

“Yeah, I do. I was being silly. I mean… you cheated on dad, you didn’t cheat on us. You’ve always been a really great mom and… this whole thing with Reese? Life’s too short.” 

**

“I’m coming!” Brenda called as she jogged to the front door. When she opened the door to see Sharon on her doorstep, she cocked her head in surprise. “Captain, I didn't expect to see you today… I thought you’d be spending the night with your children…”

“The three of them went out, they’ve always been close. We’re going to get together tomorrow for lunch.” Sharon explained, “I came over here because… well, my daughter said something to me today, something that everyone knows but it’s really easy to lose sight of… life’s too short.” 

Brenda nodded. “It is.”

“Chief Johnson, I would like to take you to dinner. I would like to take you out to a fancy restaurant and buy you a bouquet of roses. Have you eaten yet? How soon can you get ready?”

“Whoa, Captain, isn’t this a little soon?” 

“I think by most standards we’ve taken this pretty slow.” Sharon offered her a teasing smile. “It’s been nearly six months since we started dancing around each other.” 

Brenda took Sharon’s hands. “I don’t mean… us…” she laughed, “ _we’ve_ been _moving glacially_. I just… isn’t it a little soon after Reese to be making spur of the moment decisions?” 

“ _I_ didn’t die and Reese wouldn’t want me to live the rest of my life as if I had.” 

“I just want you to be sure you want this.” Brenda admitted, looking down at Sharon’s hands and absently drawing a thumb over her knuckles. 

Sharon leaned in and kissed Brenda’s cheek softly. “Go get your shoes. I’m taking you out.”


	16. Chapter 16

Brenda walked Sharon up to the front door of her condo. Sharon leaned against the door coquettishly. “I had a lovely time, Chief.” 

“Me too, Captain,” Brenda ran her fingers up Sharon’s arm absently, “you really know how to show a girl a good time.” 

Sharon took Brenda by the hand and encouraged her closer, “it doesn’t have to be over yet.” She whispered. Brenda’s eyes flitted down to Sharon’s lips before her eyes fluttered shut and she melted into Sharon’s arms. 

Sharon captured the blonde’s lips. For a moment they stood frozen, lips pressed chastely together before Sharon let out a soft sigh of contentment and Brenda became bolder. Brenda’s tongue ran along Sharon’s bottom lip and Sharon parted her lips obligingly. 

Brenda whimpered into the kiss as soon as their tonguestouched for the first time, all of her blood very suddenly rushing south. The fingers of Sharon’s left hand plunged into blonde waves while the fingers of her right trailed circles on Brenda’s lower back. Pressure from her hand pressed Brenda’s hips into her own and Sharon rocked against her, eliciting a moan from the younger woman. 

Slowly, Sharon pulled back, wearing the biggest shit eating grin in history. “Maybe we should take this inside.” She whispered. “I know we usually convene at your place but I have a very large, comfortable bed that I don’t think we’re going to get any sleep in tonight.” 

“I…” Brenda faltered, “I… _god_ , I really want to…”

“ _But_?” Sharon asked with a certain level of incredulity. 

“But… I really like you and… if this is knee-jerk, carpe diem reaction to Reese’s death and-”

“It _isn’t_.”

“-if there’s even the remotest possibility you might wake up tomorrow morning and think back on what we did as a mistake… that would break my heart.” 

“While I can assure you that I’m not looking for a one night stand, I completely respect your concerns and I’m happy to wait until you feel comfortable.” 

“You’re perfect.” Brenda murmured against Sharon’s lips. 

“Yes, I am, and you’ll get to experience it firsthand as soon as you say the word,” Sharon nipped at Brenda’s bottom lip and Brenda flushed with arousal. 

“Next week… I’m going to take you out to this little Greek restaurant I know and if you still confidently want to invite me in… I will be taking you up on your offer.” 

**

A few nights later Sharon was seated on her couch absently flipping through channels when there was a knock on the door. She looked at the time and wondered who would be calling on her so late. Part of her hoped it was Brenda deciding to take her up on her offer sooner rather than later but part of her hoped she’d have a little advance warning so she could at least put on matching underwear. 

She leaned up to the door and put her eye to the peephole. She heaved a silent sigh when she saw Vince on the other side. 

She opened the door despite her better judgment and Vince looked into her eyes imploringly. 

“Can I come in?” 

“Okay,” she nodded, stepping back, sighing silently again. “What’s on your mind, Vince?”

“What do you think’s on my mind?” He snapped. Ordinarily, Sharon would have snapped back but these days she was feeling a little more sympathetic to her ex-husband. 

“Let me get you a glass of water.” Sharon shut the door behind him. “Why don’t you sit down?” 

Vince trailed behind Sharon into the kitchen and took a seat on one of the kitchen stools. “How are you doing it? Just walking around like everything’s fine?”

Sharon poured a glass of water and set it in front of Vince at the kitchen island. “He’s my son, too, Vince. I think I forgot that for a while but he’s a good boy, you did that Vince.”

“I wish I believed that Sharon.” Vince looked down into his water. “I wish I believed I did right by him, you know?”

“You can’t live in the past, you’ll make yourself sick like that. Whatever our failings as parents, we can’t go back and do it again. We just have to be grateful for the time that we had with Reese and we just have to make sure the rest of our kids know how much we love them. The only thing we can do is move forward.” 

“I’m a mess without you, Sharon.” 

“You were always a mess, Vince.” Sharon smiled. 

“Yeah, but when we were together I wasn’t so much of a mess… not up until the end anyway, then I was kind of a dick.” 

“Hey, neither of us were saints.” 

There was an awkward silence in the kitchen before Vince spoke again, “I should get going.” He stood and turned to leave, “you’re really doing okay? Are you seeing anyone these days?”

Sharon smiled tightly, “that’s none of your concern.” 

“In any case, I hope you’re happy. You deserve that, Sharon, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to make you happy.” 

“You deserve to be happy, too, there’s no need to martyr yourself. Everyone deserves to be happy.” 

**

“Hey Chief, would you take a look at this report for me?” Flynn asked as he stepped into Brenda’s office. 

Brenda was packing her purse up and preparing to throw on her coat, “why don’t you get Lieutenant Tao to look it over for you? I told y’all, I’m leaving on time today.” 

“What? You have a hot date or something?” He laughed and Brenda shot him a look. “Seriously? Anyone I know?”

“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell, Lieutenant,” Brenda smirked. 

“So I do know him,” Flynn grinned. “Come on, I wouldn’t tell a soul.” 

“Except Lieutenant Provenza.” 

“Well, I’d have to tell him.” Flynn insisted. 

“And then at that point, I might as well just broadcast it on the 10 o’clock news. No, thank you, Lieutenant.” She fastened the tie of her trench coat and slung her purse over her shoulder. “Have a good night.” 

“Chief, I just want to say… I speak for all of us when I say that it’s been great to see you happy again. I know you’ve forbidden us to even speak his name but I know how hard you took it when you split up with Agent Howard so… it’s good to see you smiling again.” 

“Thank you for your concern, Lieutenant.” 

Flynn watched Brenda walk out of the murder room and down the hallway toward the elevator and couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy for whoever was taking her to dinner. 

Brenda got into her car and pulled out her cell as she started the engine. “Hey Captain, it’s me, I’m just calling to let you know I’m out of work, I made the reservation and I’ll be picking you up at 6:30 as scheduled.” Brenda put the car into gear and added fondly, “I’m really looking forward to seeing you tonight.” 

The LAPD mandated a week of bereavement leave for the death of an immediate family member and Sharon had made good use of her time by spending time with her other three children and pulling out pictures of Reese. She had a photo of the two of them enlarged and framed and had hung it in her living room. She smiled when she thought of him reading the letter she’d sent for him and, though she wouldn’t be able to be a part of it, she was happy to know that he was going to be leading a life without being held back by a criminal conviction. Maybe Reese would take the opportunity to go to college, maybe he’d meet the love of his life and maybe he’d have all the opportunities that Sharon and Vince would never have been able to give him. 

The idea of going forward in her life without her youngest son was a very strange feeling. Going forward being the only one who knew he wasn’t dead was an even stranger feeling. Though she was sad he was gone, she was elated that he had the chance to start fresh and that element of elation, no doubt, made her seem either in denial or relatively insensitive. 

Sharon recognized that this was the perfect opportunity for everyone to reevaluate the way they’d been living their lives. She’d been living like there was unlimited time to do everything, Vince had been living like there was validity in blaming everyone instead of moving on. 

Being a realist, Sharon had to allow for the possibility that the evening could end disastrously. Not everyone could be sexually compatible which was why she tended to try and sleep with someone before she became emotionally invested. Brenda was different, though, and even if their relationship consisted of bad sex she’d be happy enough to spend their time together cuddling and talking. Admittedly, she’d prefer to top off the cuddling and talking with amazing sex, of course, but if that wasn’t in the cards, so be it. 

Stepping out of the shower she could see that she had received a voicemail. “Woman, you better not be cancelling on me.” She mumbled as she put the phone to her ear. Sharon listened to the sweet message before resuming her primping.


	17. Chapter 17

Brenda was trying to concentrate on the menu but she couldn’t stop her eyes from raking over Sharon. The woman had dressed to the nines, as usual, and Brenda found herself unable to think of much else other than tearing the well-tailored clothes from her form. 

She cleared her throat. It had been her own idea to wait and she’d have to be patient. She promised Sharon a proper date… and she had every intention of delivering on the promise, even if it meant being very distracted.

“Have you had the souvlaki?” Sharon asked, looking up at Brenda over her menu. 

Brenda was lost in thought, her eyes trained on a fork from Sharon’s place setting. “Hm?”

“Is the souvlaki good here?” Sharon repeated with a knowing smile. 

“Oh… uh, yeah. Everything’s good here.” Brenda set her menu down. “I think I’ll just have a salad… save room for the baklava.” 

“And the truth comes out…” Sharon teased.

“Hey, I never claimed I didn’t come here for the baklava.” 

“I think I’ll follow your lead.” 

“First time for everything.” Brenda laughed. Sharon looked up with a smirk but caught Brenda’s eye and couldn’t help but laugh. 

**

After dinner Brenda walked Sharon up to the front door of her condo. “You haven’t actually been inside yet, have you?” 

Brenda shook her head. 

“I’ll give you a tour in the morning,” Sharon said softly, pulling Brenda close, “after you’ve recovered your strength.” 

“You’re pretty sure of yourself.” Brenda teased even as she felt herself flush with arousal. 

“I don’t mean to brag but I _am_ incredibly good in bed.” Sharon unlocked the door and let it swing open, “and if you come in I would be happy to get your input.” 

Sharon held out a hand for Brenda. Brenda looked at it and smiled; she let her palm slide over Sharon’s, the older woman’s hand was warm and soft and inviting. She looked up at Sharon and, though her heart was pounding, allowed herself to be led inside. 

Sharon led Brenda down the hallway to her bedroom and switched on a small lamp on the bureau. Brenda made herself at home on Sharon’s bed, lying back against plush pillows. “Come here,” Brenda purred. 

Sharon climbed over Brenda, her hand trailing up Brenda’s thigh and over her stomach and between her breasts. Sharon covered Brenda’s body with her own. “You feel so nice,” Sharon whispered, trailing kisses from behind Brenda’s ear down her neck to her collarbone. “I’ve thought about this for so long.” 

Brenda ran her hands up Sharon’s back and then dipped her hands underneath the hem of her shirt and ran her fingernails up the expanse of her back. 

Sharon leaned up and pressed her lips to Brenda’s. Brenda let out a soft moan, her hands coming up to tangle in Sharon’s hair, holding her close. Brenda wasted no time in deepening the kiss. Sharon pulled her leg further up, pressing her pelvis against Brenda’s. Brenda arched against her and let out a shaky breath. 

“Not to seem unromantic or anything, but I really just want to tear your clothes off and have my way with you right now.” Brenda panted

Sharon grinned – which Brenda took as a challenge and flipped them over. Sharon looked at her with a modicum of surprise at her strength before they both started in on each other’s clothing. Blouses were hastily unbuttoned and haphazardly discarded, bras were quickly disposed of and as Sharon pulled Brenda’s skirt up around her waist she discovered she hadn’t gone through the formality of putting on underwear. 

Sharon ran her fingers along her wetness. Brenda’s knees buckled and she moaned, “oh god, Sharon…” 

Sharon’s mouth found the nape of Brenda’s neck and sucked gently as she plunged two fingers into the blonde. Brenda bucked her hips, struggling a bit to hold herself up. Sharon sat up, pulling Brenda into a sitting position as well, Brenda wrapped her legs around Sharon’s waist and Sharon thrust into her again. Their chests were pressed tightly together as their hips rocked and Sharon’s fingers thrust. 

Brenda raked her fingernails up Sharon’s back and Sharon picked up her thrusting, driving deeper and harder. Brenda squeezed her eyes shut, “god…” she ground out, grinding down against Sharon. 

Sharon felt her own arousal pooling between her legs as Brenda’s muscles began clamping down on her fingers. “Brenda, you feel so good,” Sharon breathed, dragging her teeth along the sensitive skin behind Brenda’s ear. 

Brenda gasped and gripped Sharon harder, nails digging into Sharon’s shoulder blades as her orgasm overcame her. She shuddered against Sharon and Sharon peppered kisses along her collarbone as her breathing returned to normal. 

“ _God_ , Sharon.” Brenda buried her face in Sharon’s neck and groaned with a grin before pushing Sharon onto her back. Sharon purred appreciatively. 

Brenda kneaded Sharon’s breasts, lowering her lips to a peaked nipple. Sharon arched her back into the attention as Brenda laved the sensitive skin. Brenda rubbed her cheek against Sharon’s heated skin, craving the feel of the brunette’s body against her own. 

“You smell so good,” she husked, “I want to taste you… can I go down on you?” 

Sharon groaned, “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t…” she chuckled. 

Brenda grinned against her abdomen and nipped playfully at the soft skin. Brenda made quick work of the pants that Sharon still had on. Brenda ran her hands up Sharon’s thighs, palms moving up toward her center. She hooked her fingers into the fabric of her underwear and pulled them down Sharon’s long, lean legs. 

Now both women were completely nude. Brenda gazed appreciatively up her lover’s body. When it had happened was unclear, but as Brenda looked up at the prone brunette it was clear to her that she had fallen completely in love with the older woman. 

Brenda moved up the bed, settling between Sharon’s thighs. She nudged them apart so that the backs of her thighs were resting against Brenda’s shoulders. She inhaled slowly, savouring the heady scent before she extended her tongue and dragged it along Sharon’s wetness. 

Sharon moaned and her thighs quivered. Brenda was intoxicated on the sights and scents and sounds before her as she plunged her tongue into Sharon. Sharon fisted the sheets and arched her back. 

Brenda dragged her tongue over Sharon’s clit, flattening it against the sensitive bundle of nerves. Sharon whimpered and bit down on her bottom lip, “ooh… _fuck_ …” 

Brenda’s hands kneaded Sharon’s ass as her tongue lapped at her hot center. Sharon squeezed her eyes shut, writhing with every delicious flick of Brenda’s tongue. Sharon reached down, burying her fingers in Brenda’s blonde locks and dragging her nails over Brenda’s scalp. 

“Ooh, don’t stop…” Sharon pleaded, feeling the knot in her abdomen growing. Sharon grabbed fistfuls of Brenda’s hair and started to pant as her orgasm continued to build. 

With a few deliberate strokes of her tongue over Sharon’s clit, the older woman collapsed under waves of pleasure as her orgasm coursed through her. 

“Oh… good god…” Sharon panted. 

“Well, I think that was worth the wait,” Brenda purred, grinning from ear to ear. 

Sharon lifted her head to look down at Brenda and couldn’t help but grin. “Woman, get up here.” 

“Mmm, since when are you the boss of _me_?” Brenda teased as she covered Sharon’s body with her own. 

Sharon ran her fingers through Brenda’s hair and kissed her softly, “since pretty much always, you just didn’t know it.” 

Brenda smiled against Sharon’s lips and murmured, “I love you.”


End file.
